


The Prodigal Husband Returns

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Compliant, Future Fic, M/M, and has been released, as of right now anyway!, but she's dead so I'm guessing no one will mind, rebecca white mentions, robert went to prison, seb focus here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-09-28 13:36:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 22,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20426858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Robert got sentenced to eight years imprisonment, for GBH with intent. Too long for him to want Aaron to wait for him.Five years down the line, Robert's been released, and all he can think of is Aaron. He has to find him again, and hope against hope that a five year separation is not too long.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea I can't get out of my head! The legal processes mentioned are largely invented, so I've no idea how plausible it is, but I'm going with it! This is canon compliant, as of right now. Who knows in a few weeks??  
There is a non robron romantic relationship here, but no effort has been made in the writing of it! Robrons end game, always. That said, enjoy!

Robert looked up at the sky, a grey gloomy day, but it was the best day he’d seen in years. He was finally breathing in beautiful free air. After serving his time, the prison stood directly behind him, the suit he’d been sentenced in feeling looser than it used to, a small bag of possessions in his hand. The guards hadn’t even bothered with him once giving him a final search, though why it mattered if Robert was smuggling something _out_ of prison he had no idea.

Now, he stood outside, looking at his lift. The prison had bothered to call him a taxi thankfully, because Robert had no one to pick him up. Mostly because he’d not told anyone he was being released today. He wanted a few days to himself, to have some genuine privacy after five years with none, so he wanted to be alone. The car beeped it’s horn and Robert got into the back seat, appreciative of his taxi.

He felt the pockets of his jacket, finding a phone that would be completely useless to him, an empty wallet, and some keys. Would they even work anymore, or would the locks have been changed by now? He should chuck the phone, but maybe he could find a charger for it? He knew there’d be some nice pictures of Seb on it. And Aaron. Ignoring that thought for now, pushing aside the thought of his husband because it was too painful. He’d got good at that over the years. He clenched his hand into a fist, feeling his wedding ring hard against his skin. He'd never taken it off.

“Where to?” the cab driver asked.

“A bank,” Robert said. “Then a hotel in the centre of Leeds. A nice one.” He couldn’t do anything without money, that was job one.

“Righto.” The driver drove off, and Robert didn’t look back at the prison. He would never be back in that building, he knew that better than anything.

* * *

After paying the cab, he checked in to a hotel. Three nights? Yeah, that’d probably be enough to make him human again. He needed sleep, a long shower and some time to pull his head together, and hopefully lose the hunted look prison had given him. Although maybe asking that in three days was too much.

“Here’s your key Mr Sugden,” the receptionist said with a smile. “The complimentary gym is on the lower floor.”

“Thanks,” Robert said. Then, out of curiosity. “Have you got a swimming pool?”

“Yes, it’s on the lower floor too,” she said. “Enjoy your stay.” Robert took the lift to his room, thinking over his finances. He was in better shape than he expected, having kept a share of the haulage firm. It had slowly increased his bank balance over the last five years, and with no living expenses? It was now a very tidy sum, and he hadn’t been hard up to start off with.

He unlocked the door with a key card and as soon as he could, he locked the door behind him. For the first time in years, he was truly alone. He let out a breath that had five years of agony built up into it. Finally, _privacy_. He closed the curtains, starting to strip off, and planning a very long hot shower. When he stood naked, he looked in the bathroom mirror critically. He had lost weight. Lost muscle definition too. He looked much smaller… almost scrawnier than before? Maybe he would use that gym. The gnarled three inches of scar tissue on his left side didn’t look as bad as he feared. One more scar to add to the collection he thought, touching the darker spot over his heart where he was shot. Really, all things considered, he was lucky to be alive.

Robert shook his head, stopping his self pity. He needed a shower, and he hadn’t had a proper shower since he was sent down. Prison showers were hardly places you spent longer than necessary. He put his hand under the running water and found it very very hot. Perfect.

* * *

Within twenty four hours, he’d had a good nights sleep, bought some new clothes that fit him properly, got a working phone, eaten some delicious food, had a long swim in the pool and had a haircut. He looked and felt more like a shadow of his old self. It felt good, to not be living by the rhythms of prison. He could eat breakfast when he wanted, drink what he wanted, do whatever he liked. He hadn’t nearly got used to it, but he also knew that now he’d dealt with the practicalities, he had to focus on the emotional situation.

Aaron.

He didn’t call Aaron straight away, instead he phoned his solicitor. “John, hi. It’s Robert Sugden. Can we meet for a drink? This afternoon? Great.”

* * *

By the time he walked into the bar, Robert felt nervous. He knew exactly what he wanted to ask but wasn’t sure how he’d deal with the answers. He shook John’s hand, already propping up the bar with a whisky glass. “Ah, Robert,” he said. “You’ve only been out of prison two days, surely you don’t need me already.”

“Red wine please,” he said to the bartender. “Not exactly,” Robert said. “Are you still in charge of my families legal affairs? Specifically Aaron.”

John raised his eyebrows. “I can’t discuss other clients, you know that.”

“That means yes,” Robert said picking up on the undercurrents here. “You wouldn’t have a problem telling me he’d walked to your competition.”

“I can’t discuss his private affairs,” John repeated. Robert took a sip of his wine, letting the heat of it warm him up.

“How about mine?” Robert asked. “I need to know if I’m still married to him or not.”

“Robert…”

“I need to know,” he said firmly. 

“Aaron could not divorce you without your knowledge,” John said. “Even in prison, you have access to legal counsel if you need it. You would have had to have been informed.”

“So… I’m still married?” Robert asked.

“Yes,” John said. “Aaron hasn’t been in touch with me about starting divorce proceedings. I couldn’t have stopped him, anything over two years consists of abandonment, so he could if he wanted. But he didn’t. Do you want to start divorce…?”

“No,” Robert said quickly. “I wanted to know where I stood before I saw him. What about Seb?”

“No legal problems,” John said. “The parental order went through exactly as you asked for after Miss White died. In fact, Aaron rather bit my hand off to sign that.”

“Good,” Robert said, pleased. “The house?” 

“Still under both of your names. Aaron’s shown no desire to get you off the deeds.”

“Anything of concern with my businesses?”

“No,” John said. “Your haulage business is thriving, your small percentage of the scrapyard is still turning a profit, nothing that needs your attention.”

“Great,” Robert said. He drained his wine, it going to his head a little.

“Robert?” John called as he started to turn away. “I want you to take this the right way, but I hope I don’t see you for a very long time.” Robert smiled.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “The feelings mutual.”

* * *

“No! Da!!” Seb squealed.

“I can’t let you win,” Aaron said, looking at the TV screen as Aaron currently in first place on the racing track. “You won’t learn anything that way.”

“But you cheated!” Seb shouted. “You always told me cheatings not right!” Aaron silently took his finger off the accelerator button, letting Seb catch up. Keeping the seven year old happy was always his main job. Then, purely by accident, Aaron’s car fell off the edge of the track.

“Oh damn,” Aaron said, making Seb laugh.

“I win!” Seb shouted. Aaron launched himself at him, tickling him like mad. “Get off!” Seb laughed.

“All right, you can have this one,” Aaron said. “Homework.”

“Da….”

“Come on,” Aaron said. “I told you you could have a game first. Homework.”

“Fine.” Seb grabbed his school bag and set up on the kitchen table.

“I’m off.” Aaron saw Ben coming downstairs, already dressed for work. “I won’t be back until six in the morning.”

“I don’t envy you,” Aaron said, smiling at his boyfriend.

“I can climb into bed with you when I get home.”

“Sounds like an idea,” Aaron said warmly. Ben kissed him absently before turning to the kitchen. “Bye Seb.”

“Bye Ben,” Seb parroted back, already being sucked in to his homework.

The knock on the door sounded innocent, innocuous. Ben opened it as he was passing, and Aaron froze. The face he’d never expected to ever see again stared back at him. Robert. His face frowned with confusion, then looked over Ben’s shoulder and found Aaron. For a split second, it was like no one was breathing in the room, both Robert and Aaron’s eyes were magnetised to each others unable to look away.

“Can I help you?” Ben asked.

“It’s my house, thanks,” Robert said coldly, very well aware of who this strange man must be. Anyone sharing Aaron’s bed did not get pleasantries from him.

Ben looked at Robert, then Aaron, the pieces clicking. Also the resemblance to Seb was fairly obvious. “Robert,” he realised, and Aaron nodded once in answer.

“I still have to go,” Ben said. “Do you want me to call in sick for my shift?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Go.” Ben looked at them both, shrugged, then left them to it. He didn’t want to feel like the third wheel and he'd call Aaron later.

Robert looked away from Aaron, from drinking in his beautiful face for the first time in a solid minute to find Seb at the table, eyes focused on him, curious. “Oh, my God. He’s so big.”

“Yes,” Aaron said. “He’s staying here. You’re not having him.”

“What?” Robert asked.

“Me and him are a team,” Aaron said. “You can’t show up after five years and destroy everything.”

“I’m not going to destroy everything,” Robert said. “But I had to see you. I couldn’t stay away, please Aaron.” Robert’s voice was breaking, this was far more difficult than he had ever anticipated. Seeing Aaron’s face was like a shock to him.

“Seb, can you go upstairs?” Aaron asked. “Have a sweet from your drawer.”

“Who’s that?” Seb asked.

“Please, Seb.” Seb, still young enough to be tempted by sugar, did as Aaron asked, and only when he was upstairs did Aaron let Robert over the threshold.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short chapter, but I hope you like it! Thank you for the encouragement on Ch 1! The blind aus last chapter IS coming soon.

Finally, they were alone, Robert closing the door with a loud click. Neither of them knew what to say first. “You look good,” Robert settled on. “You look great.”

“You look thin,” Aaron said. “Have you been eating?”

“Prison muck,” Robert said indifferently. “How is he?”

“Is he all you’re here for?” Aaron asked.

“You know he’s not.” Robert licked his lips. “But I want to know.”

“He’s a happy boy,” Aaron said. “Doing well in school, only gets in trouble once a week. Happy?”

“No,” Robert said. He pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down heavily, noticing Sebs school books on the table. Aaron followed suit.

“How long have you been out?”

“Three days,” Robert said. “Not long.”

“You didn’t come straight here, though,” Aaron noticed. He couldn’t decide if he felt insulted that The Mill hadn’t been Robert’s first destination out of prison or not. Actually, yes. He did feel insulted.

“I didn’t know if you still owned it,” Robert said. “It’s five years, you might not be living here anymore.”

“Do you think I could ever leave this house?” Aaron asked, looking around the room. “You built it.”

Robert rested his hands on the table and his wedding ring caught the light. Aaron screwed his own hands into fists before hiding them under the table to hide his bare finger. It didn’t matter, Robert had already seen the lack of a wedding ring. 

“Why didn’t you tell me you were getting out?” Aaron asked.

“Because I’ve not seen you in years,” Robert said.

“Who’s faults that?” Aaron asked.

“I didn’t want you stopping your life for me,” Robert said.

“Bullshit,” Aaron said. “If you really felt like that, you wouldn’t have knocked on my door, you’d have left me alone.”

“You’ve got my son,” Robert said. “You must have known I’d turn up one day.” Aaron shook his head and got up, too agitated to sit down and started biting his lip. “How’s your boyfriend. Enjoying my husband, is he?”

“I’m not your husband,” Aaron said.

“Ouch,” Robert said. That hurt. “Legally you are.”

“Oh, so I should have started divorce proceedings while you were in prison?” Aaron said.

Even the word “divorce” felt like a slap across the face and Robert breathed in sharply. “You don’t mean that.”

“All right, I don’t,” Aaron said, relenting. He knew he was being hard and cold, but Robert **_left_** him. Refused to let him visit in prison at all, and my God that had been so unbelievably painful. “Seeing you is a shock.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I know. What’s his name? The man sleeping with you.”

Aaron hesitated. “Ben. He’s a paramedic. He doesn’t live here, I’ve not been with him long.” Something inside Robert relaxed. He could have been with this Ben for years, it could be a very serious relationship, but it didn’t sound like it. Even if it was, Aaron was downplaying it, which was all to the good. “Me and you? We’re not going to happen. It’s been too long.”

“Fine,” Robert said. It wasn’t fine, but it was an argument for another day. “I need to see Seb.”

“No,” Aaron said.

“I’m sorry?” Robert said in disbelief.

“Not until I’ve talked him through it,” Aaron said. “He’s not the baby you left, he’s seven and he needs time before I just hand him over to you. He doesn’t know you.”

“Why are you talking about it like I went on holiday for five years?” Robert said. “I was in prison, not abandoning my family because I wanted to.”

“Because clearly me and Seb, we didn’t matter enough.” Aaron shook his head. “You never even cared.” 

“That’s not true,” Robert said, shaking his head.

“Forget about seeing Seb. You’re a violent convicted criminal, remember?” Robert wasn’t aware of moving, but before he knew it, he had two fists in Aaron’s hoodie, holding him up right against the wall.

“How dare you say that!” Robert snapped. “I loved you, don’t pretend it doesn’t count!” Both of them could feel their history pulling at them, it wasn’t the first time Robert had Aaron pressed up against a wall. Aaron’s eyes were slightly blown and he was breathing heavily. Robert pulled back, feeling like he should have himself under better control than that.

“You need to go,” Aaron said. 

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I’m not giving up on my son.”

“Fine,” Aaron said distantly. “Just go.” Robert looked at him sadly, but did as he was asked, then turned and left, the door closing quietly. Aaron hadn’t really got his heart rate under control (he’d always enjoyed Robert manhandling him, truth be told) by the time Seb crept downstairs, looking worried.

“Is that my dad?” Seb asked.

“You were listening,” Aaron said, looking at him. Seb picked up on things that maybe he shouldn't at his age, but then, Aaron shouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah,” Seb agreed with a shrug. “At the top of the stairs. Is it?”

“Yes,” Aaron said. He didn’t like lying to Seb at the best of times. Seb knew his dad was in prison, though he didn't really understand what that meant. Not really, just that he had to go away. “It is. He’s auntie Vics brother.”

“Oh,” Seb said, working it through in his mind. “I want to stay here with you, I’m not going off with him!” A quick learner, Aaron noticed.

“Hey,” Aaron said confidently, far more confident that he felt. “You are not going anywhere you don’t want to. I promise.” He smiled and pulled Seb into a hug. “If you want to stay with me? That’s what’s going to happen. Me and you, we’re solid, okay?”

Seb sniffed into Aaron’s shirt. “Good.”

“Let me tuck you in bed,” Aaron said. “Scare the monsters away.” Seb chuckled. Most of the time he didn’t believe in monsters, but he still had moments that he was very childlike. “Come on.”


	3. Chapter 3

All things taken into account, Roberts first meeting with Aaron after prison could potentially have gone better. It’s not like he expected Aaron to fall into his arms right away (even if he’d daydreamed about it) but Aaron felt cold. Aaron wasn’t a cold person. He was warm and loving and had the biggest heart of anyone Robert had ever met. This hard exterior simply wasn’t him.

Robert shouldn’t have snapped and pushed him up against the wall like that. Not least because it brought back some powerful memories, and getting his hands on his ex husband after so long of enforced celibacy… well, he was almost ashamed to admit to himself that that had turned him on. Pushing that thought away, he turned to Seb. He’d grown. Rationally, he knew the boy was seven, but seeing it? Felt so different. He’d missed so very much, and he was a stranger to his own son. However angry Aaron felt right now, he couldn’t bear for that to continue. It wouldn’t. Robert grabbed the Hotten courier as he left the village in his rental car, heading back to his Leeds hotel. He needed to find a place closer to home to rent, because one things for sure, he’s not giving up on his family.

* * *

Aaron couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t think. He lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as Robert’s face was projected on the blank surface. He hadn’t been ready to see him again, not by a long shot. He knew he’d get out of prison one day, but one day was very different to right now. And he had Robert’s son. He loved Seb like he was his own child. Adored him. Robert could very probably take Seb away from him if he wanted to, if he tried to go down the legal route. That thought terrified him. Robert was not a cruel man. Sure he was someone who wanted to win, and liked getting his own way, but… then again maybe prison had hardened him. Aaron bit his bottom lip hard, thinking.

It reached the early morning when Aaron realised something. Ben hadn’t come around tonight, and Aaron knew he was off shift. Had he decided not to bother when Robert had turned up? Deep down he knew he should care more about that.

* * *

After going out of his mind all night, Aaron had left the house at seven, a bleary Seb not that pleased at being marched out to see his nana this early in the morning. But Aaron needed to talk to someone who would understand, and Chas was the only person he could think of, as he knocked on the back door to the pub. Turned out, it wasn’t Chas who opened it, it was Hannah, Aaron’s little sister. Aaron didn’t even get a word in before Seb and Hannah ran off together, Seb teaching her all sorts of tricks Aaron was sure of it. He found Chas in the kitchen.

“Hi,” Aaron said.

“God, you look terrible,” Chas said over her mug of coffee. “Is Seb…”

“He’s fine,” Aaron said quickly. “He’s upstairs with Hannah. I er…” Aaron shook his head.

“You’re scaring me.”

“Robert knocked on my door last night,” Aaron said. “I’ve not slept since.”

“Robert Robert?” Chas asked.

“No, Bob came around asking for a pint of milk,” Aaron deadpanned. “Yes, THAT Robert.”

“He’s out of prison,” Chas stated. “How is he?”

“He looked…” Aaron said, considering it. “Tougher. Thinner. Older.”

“We’re all older,” Chas said. “Did you sleep with him?”

“What?!” Aaron said, looking at her in disbelief. “_**No**_!”

“Really?” she asked. “Oh.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Aaron said. “You think the first thing I’m going to do after five years of nothing is jump into bed with him?” Chas’s smile told him that was exactly what she thought. “No, all right? Mostly we were talking about Seb. And Ben.”

“Does he want Seb back?”

“He wants to see him,” Aaron said. “We didn’t really get around to custody arrangements. I’m not losing him mum. He’s all I’ve got.”

“So… Ben?”

“Yeah?” Aaron asked, like he was irrelevant. “What about him?”

“Look, love,” Chas said with a sigh. “I know you, and I knew Robert. If he’s anything like he was before prison, you’ll end up with him.”

“You think that little of me?” 

“I don’t believe in soul mates,” Chas said. “Not really. Just love. But you two? God, you always made me think that maybe, just maybe soul mates exist.” There was an uncomfortable silence after that while Aaron took it in.

“It’s too long, mum. It’s five years. He’s not the same, I’m not the same.”

“But if you can?”

“I can’t do it to my heart again, mum,” Aaron said. “It killed me when he got sent down. It took me years to get through that, why would I ask him to break me into pieces all over again?”

“For love,” Chas said.

Aaron groaned. “That’s not why I came over here,” he said. “I didn’t come here for you to talk me into giving Robert another chance, I came here so you can tell me that I’m a good dad to Seb and Robert’s an idiot if he tries to take him away from me.”

“You’re the best dad to Seb,” Chas said. “He’s so lucky to have you. Robert will never take him from you, over my dead body.” Aaron nodded. That was the reassurance he wanted. His phone buzzed with a text from Ben. _Hope you’re okay. Didn’t know if you wanted to be alone. X_ Aaron ignored that as Hannah came in demanding Chas plait her hair, and Chas perched her daughter on her lap, brushing through the lengths of it. “How did it feel when you saw him?” Chas asked.

“A shock,” Aaron said honestly. But he thought about that for the rest of the day. How had it felt? The truthful answer was, once he’d got over the unexpected surprise of finding Robert on his doorstep… it felt like the earth had started turning again after having been stopped for so long.

* * *

Robert made use of the hotels gym one more time before checking out. He wanted to get his body back in the kind of shape he was in before he got sent down. The prison had a gym, but Robert hadn’t exactly wanted to hang around the sort of men who made that their home. For about half an hour he’d debated going out to a bar, trying to go on the pull. He hadn’t had anything approaching human contact in so long, and the temptation was right there, but… no. He talked himself out of it. It was Aaron or no one, as simple as that.

He’d rented, of all the houses in all the world, Ross’s old place. But it was in the village, and that would do. He also bought a car. He couldn’t afford anything like his old porsche, which had been sold to cover the legal fees of his solicitor, so it was now a distant dream. But just a car to get around. It took a few days before he was ready to see Aaron once more, try again. He hadn’t seen Vic yet either, but she could wait. His son was more important.

He knocked on the door, and Aaron opened it, feeling devastated. He’d talked to his solicitor and if Robert pushed, legally he didn’t have much of a chance of keeping Seb with him.

“Robert, please go away,” Aaron said, voice breaking.

“I can’t,” Robert said desperately, pushing into the house. “I need to talk to you about Seb. Come on, you can’t ignore me.”

“You can’t have him,” Aaron said. “I know you can legally, but you can’t take him from me. I’m all he’s known for the last five years, it’s not fair to him!”

“I don’t want him,” Robert said. Aaron froze and looked at him, stunned. “I do, obviously, but I just want a couple of afternoons a week. That’s all. Maybe take him to the cinema. Do one school run. Nothing major.”

Aaron breathed heavily, because he’d not expected this and was waiting for the catch. “Really?”

“Yes,” Robert said. “He doesn’t know me, I don’t know him. I want to get to know him again.”

“So, once he’s decided you’re the favourite, you’ll take Seb away from me then?” Aaron said. “No chance.”

“I am not taking him away from you,” Robert said. “I never would. When I went to prison, Seb was one thing I knew I didn’t have to worry about. I knew he’d be fine.”

“Okay,” Aaron said quietly, making a decision. “Of course you can see him. If Seb wants to see you, I’m not going to force him.”

“Thank you,” Robert said. “That’s all I want.” The moment held between them, both men unable to look away and Robert cleared his throat. “I should go.”

“I’m going to talk Seb through it, and if he’s up for it… Saturday?” Aaron suggested.

“Yes,” Robert said. “Whenever you feel it’s best. What does he like doing? What should I…”

“There’s a waffle house in Hotten,” Aaron said. “It’s his favourite. I need you to text me, make sure he’s okay and…”

“That I’ve not run off with him,” Robert said levelly. “I understand.” Robert took his phone out and brought up his new number and Aaron put it into his phone. Their fingers briefly brushed against each other as Aaron handed it back. He tried to pretend it wasn’t an electric touch.

“Aaron, I need to tell you something,” Robert said. “There’s no one else but you. There’s not been anyone else, and there’s not going to be anyone else. You’re the love of my life.”

“I’m not single,” Aaron said, looking away from him.

“I know,” Robert said. “Just had to say it. To let you know that everything I felt five years ago? I still do.” He smiled almost sadly at Aaron, then turned and left.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very Robert focused chapter here, but I'll get back to Aaron in the next one!

The office for Home James Haulage now shared space with Take a Vow, so Robert walked in, expecting to find one of the Kings. But he didn't. “Who are you and what are you doing behind my desk?” Robert asked sharply. The man looked upwards at him in disbelief. A twenty something man who seemed to fancy himself a bit.

“It's my desk,” he countered.

“We’ll see about that,” Robert said. “Your name?”

“Yours first.” Robert glared at him.

“Look, I’m a violent convicted criminal,” Robert said. “I’ve just got out of prison on an attempted murder charge, and you know something? I don’t regret it. So, tell me your bloody name.” Clearly something had worked in prison because the man looked very intimidated.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” He recognised that voice and turned around to see Nicola smiling at him. Robert’s face split into a grin.

“I thought I’d turn up sometime,” Robert said. “How are you?”

“Double the work so had to hire him,” she said, pointing at the man Robert didn’t recognise. “Thomas. Carl’s son who Jimmy can’t seem to shake off.” She waved her hand like it was irrelevant and Robert could tell she didn’t like this Thomas. From the look on his face, the feeling was mutual. “We’re fine. How are you?”

“I’ll survive,” Robert said. “You look well.”

“Come here you useless...” Nicola pulled Robert into a hug, one he felt very grateful to receive. A tight hug of a friendship missed too long, Nicola smiling when they separated.

“Careful or Jimmy will get jealous,” Tom said from behind his desk. 

“No, he won’t,” Nicola said. “I’ve already slept with him, what more can happen?”

Robert looked at Toms stricken face, knowing that this would more than likely get back to Jimmy. “Oh, God, Nicola, he thinks you’re serious,” Robert said.

“I am serious. Twenty five years ago, but still!”

“Ouch!” Robert said, friendly. “Twenty, I’m not that old!”

“Oh, calm down,” Nicola said. “As much as I flatter myself, I don’t think you’re back home because you’re after the woman who took your virginity.” Robert went red, but Tom spluttered and left the office, which Robert guessed was Nicola’s intention. Especially when she shouted after him “Sorry! Would you prefer to hear about mine and Jimmy’s sex life?!”

“I don’t want to cause trouble for you,” Robert said.

“He’s a waste of space Jimmy’s got a soft spot for,” Nicola said. “I’ll be glad to get rid.”

“Think of our first time often, do you?” Robert teased.

“No,” she said. “I was slightly offended at first that after me you went on to men, but…”

“Speaking of,” Robert said, turning the conversation around. “How is he? Really.”

“You want the gossip,” she realised.

“I want to know how he is,” Robert said. “If he’s happy. Because if he is, I’ll leave him alone, but if he’s not? I’m going to fight like hell to get my husband back.”

“He was lonely for a long time,” Nicola said. “He seems to have pulled himself together now. Don’t wreck it for him.” Robert sighed and sat down in Thomas’s chair. “Not what you wanted to hear?”

“I wanted him to move on,” Robert said. “It just hurts when I see that he actually did.”

“If you want Aaron? The new boy doesn’t stand a chance. Go for it,” she said. Robert sighed.

“I wish I was so sure.”

“You look older,” Nicola said. “Tired. Do you want to come back, or just keep being paid your share?”

“I want to come back,” Robert said with conviction.

“Great, I can sack Tom,” she said sincerely. “How did you survive in prison? Was it… okay?”

“No one’s asked me that yet,” Robert said heavily. “Had a couple of trips to the hospital, but I got out of there mostly in one piece.”

“Hospital, why?”

“You remember my smart mouth, right?”

Nicola smiled. “Yes, I do. Welcome home.”

* * *

Robert felt nervous. Saturday afternoon with Seb was arranged, and he felt mildly terrified. His phone rang and he saw it was Aaron.

“Hi,” Robert said. “I’ve not forgotten, I’m on my way.”

“Yeah, listen…” Aaron started.

“Please don’t cancel,” Robert said desperately.

“Seb doesn’t want to go,” Aaron said. “I’m sorry, I’m not talking him out of it, but he just doesn’t want to.”

“Right,” Robert said hollowly. “So that’s it?”

“I thought instead,” Aaron said. “Why don’t you come around mine, and play video games with him? I’ll keep out of the way, so it can be the two of you, but I don’t know what to suggest. He doesn’t want to leave the house.”

“That’s fine,” Robert said. “I’ll be around in about half an hour?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Robert said. “Thanks.”

* * *

Seb looked moody and put out, just like his father used to whenever Robert couldn’t get his own way. “You’ll like your dad,” Aaron said.

“I don’t know him.”

“He was always rubbish at video games,” Aaron said. “You’ll win easily.” He gave Seb a wink and the boy smiled a little. The knock on the door had Seb sitting up on the sofa as Aaron answered it.

“Seb’s really nervous,” Aaron said instead of hello.

“Oh,” Robert said. “Makes two of us.”

“God, the two of you are hopeless,” Aaron said, letting him in. “You’re both the best people I know, and you’re terrified of hanging around each other.” Robert chose not to comment on that compliment, to keep it safe.

“Hi Seb,” Robert said. “I know you don’t remember me, I’m…” he hesitated, unsure whether to use dad or not. “Robert.”

“Yeah, I know,” Seb said. “Da said you’d play with me?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, smiling at him. “If you want to?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Robert said.

“Tea?” Aaron suggested. Robert nodded, grateful.

* * *

As the afternoon wore on, Seb got used to him. It tested Robert’s patience at times because Seb didn’t know how much he missed him, how desperate he was to get to know him again. Robert also spent too much time staring at Seb’s face to pay attention to the video game, but it kept Seb happy because it meant he won more.

“Last go, okay?” Robert said.

“Aw!” Seb said.

“Then we can do it again next weekend?” Robert looked at Aaron. He’d been doing paperwork, presumably for the yard at the kitchen table, and other than looking at them, had kept to his word and left them alone. Aaron nodded.

“Oh yes!” Seb said. “That’s fun! I like beating you!”

“You did not win all the time,” Robert said.

“I kinda did,” Seb said, grinning at him. Robert ruffled his hair without thinking it through, but Seb laughed at him. Robert felt that maybe, just maybe he’d be able to get his kid back.

“Thanks for today,” Robert told Aaron. “I appreciate it.”

“I’d never cut you out,” Aaron said. “I was shocked when you turned up. I wasn’t prepared for it, and… well. I’m not giving him up, but I think you should see him too.”

“That’s good,” Robert agreed. “I got my old job with Nicola back.”

“Oh!” Aaron said. “I didn’t know if you’d want to stick around.”

“Where else am I going to go?” Robert asked, the words heavy with implication. “It was good to see her. Nicola. I’ve not seen Jimmy yet.”

“He’s only working part time at the moment,” Aaron said. “Have you been to the pub?”

“No,” Robert said. “I’m not sure I can face the mother in law to be honest with you.”

“I wouldn’t worry,” Aaron said darkly. “She was on your side.”

Robert paused, curious. “My side over what?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Aaron said. “Don’t avoid the pub, not for me or us or what we were.”

“How is Ben?” Robert said, wanting to know.

“Giving me space,” Aaron said. “He’s threatened by you. I think anyway.” Aaron looked like he missed him, so Robert shut up. That wasn’t a road he wanted to go down.


	5. Chapter 5

Aaron had started early, propping up the bar, miserable. “You look awfully depressed for someone who’s got it all,” Charity noticed.

“Have you heard who’s back?”

“It’s true?!” Charity said. “I heard it, but Chas didn’t say anything. I assumed it was nonsense.”

“No,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “100% not nonsense.”

“How are you?” Charity asked. “He’s off his head if he thinks he’s taking Seb away from you. That boy would have gone into care if it wasn’t for you.”

“No, it’s…” Aaron shook his head. “I don’t think that’s what he wants. He just wants to spend time with him. I can’t say no to that.”

“You could,” Charity said.

“I don’t want to,” Aaron said. “Seb needs to know his dad.”

“What about you?” Charity asked. “What do you need?”

“Another pint, ta.”

“Aaron…”

“If I had any idea about Robert, do you think I’d be telling you?” Aaron asked, holding out his empty glass. Chas was on the school run for Hannah and Seb. While they were both at the same school it felt pointless to do two. He shouldn’t be drinking at this time in the afternoon, but he was stressed. He was a damn adult, he could do what he wanted.

The village at large went quiet with a hush as the door opened, Robert coming into the pub. Aaron couldn’t look away. He still commanded all of Aaron's attention when he walked into a room.

“Yes, I’m back,” Robert said loudly as he approached the bar. “Carry on gossiping into your handbags.”

“Hi,” Charity said, giving him a strained smile.

“Pint please,” Robert said. Charity nodded, pouring it and there was a slight tension across the empty seat between the two men. Nothing was said and Chas came in with both kids, running through the pub. Robert stared at the girl, it taking a moment before it slotted into place who she was. “Oh.”

“Hi Robert,” Chas said, smiling at him. “This is Hannah.”

“She looks like you,” Robert said as she clambered up onto the bar.

“Come here.” 

“What?” Robert said in surprise as Chas pulled him into a hug. He hadn’t expected that in a million years, but he’d take it. 

“We’ve missed you around here,” she said. Aaron grunted and Robert pretended he hadn’t heard that.

“Da says you can help me with my Maths homework,” Seb said. Robert drunk him in for a moment.

“Does he?” Robert said, looking at Aaron grateful. Aaron nodded and he’d clearly been putting a good word in.

“Why did you hug him?!” Aaron hissed at Chas while Seb and Robert set up on a small table with his books out.

“I’ve missed him!” Chas said in her defence. “You were a nightmare as a teenager and a twenty something.”

“Oi!” Aaron said.

“God knows you had your reasons,” Chas said holding her hand up. “Of course you did. But when you were with him, and settled and happy, I didn’t have to worry about you. Life wasn’t easy, but he looked after you. Even if it wasn’t for long enough, I loved that for you. He’s given me the most gorgeous grandson too, I can’t be too mad at him.”

“You’re meant to be on my side,” Aaron said.

“I can be on both your sides,” Chas said. “Look, you’ll always come first with me. But Robert? He hasn’t done anything wrong. He whacked a rapist on the head. Shame he didn’t do it harder. Would have done the world a favour.”

“Yeah, I know,” Aaron said. “Was Seb all right from school?”

“Yeah,” Chas said. “Very chatty.”

“Good.”

* * *

“Oh, you’ve got a brain on you,” Robert said, thrilled. “You’re really clever.”

“My teacher says that,” Seb said, grinning. “I’m the smartest in the class.”

“I believe that,” Robert said. “You barely need my help at all.”

Seb leaned closer, whispering conspiratorially to him. “Da says we’re going to the waffle house on Saturday?”

“Yes,” Robert said. “If you want to go.”

“I love the chocolate waffle special,” Seb whispered. “Da won’t let me have it unless it’s my birthday.”

“Oh,” Robert said, nodding at him. “I guess... you want a treat?”

“Yeah,” Seb said bright eyed.

“We’ll see what we can do.” Robert was not above bribing his son with chocolate, giving him a wink.

* * *

“You’ve not talked to me properly since your ex husband came home.” Aaron looked at Ben who seemed to be gearing up for a fight across the Mills living room.

“You’ve not exactly been forthcoming either,” Aaron said. “I ask you round and you don’t show. You never show anymore.”

“Because I get the feeling you don’t want me here!” Ben snapped.

“I’ve never said that!” Aaron said. “My boyfriend barely sees me and it’s my fault?”

Ben scowled at him. “Aaron, I like you. I really like you, but I’m not an idiot. Around this village people talk. When they find out I’m Aaron’s boyfriend, they look at me like I’m crazy. Everyone in this village measures me up, from Brenda at the cafe to your family at the pub. I know I can never match up to the famous Robert.”

“That’s not my fault,” Aaron said. “I’m not with him. I’m with you.”

“You miss him,” Ben said. “Don’t you?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Aaron said. “Robert closed the door on us a long time ago. He doesn’t get to open it again. I’m not some pathetic idiot waiting for my ex to come home? No. If it wasn’t for Seb, I wouldn’t see him at all.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” Aaron said. “I can’t take his father away from him, and I won’t do that.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Ben said, relenting. “It’s hard for me, okay? I’ve been giving you space, if you wanted to…”

“I don’t want space,” Aaron said. “Please just… stay over for a bit.”

“Okay,” Ben said. “I’ve got another night shift, I start at eleven, so I won’t be here all night.”

“Okay.”

* * *

“Right, I’m off,” Ben said. Aaron smiled at him tiredly.

“See you tomorrow,” Aaron said. “Have a good shift.”

“Yeah,” Ben said. He left the Mill sadly. He knew Aaron was slipping away from him, even if Aaron himself hadn’t realised it.

* * *

Aaron answered the door quickly, expecting Robert and Seb back. It was Saturday and Seb had been more enthusiastic this time to go out with him.

“Missing someone?” Aaron asked, seeing just Robert there.

“Seb went with Chas to the park,” Robert said. “I bumped into them, she said you wouldn’t mind. He needs to run off the sugar.”

“That’s fine,” Aaron said. “Did you spoil him?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, coming into the house as Aaron showed no sign of kicking him out. “He’s amazing.”

“Yeah, he’s not bad,” Aaron said with a warm smile.

“I need to thank you,” Robert said. “For taking him after Rebecca died. You didn’t have to.”

“Of course I did,” Aaron said.

“No, you didn’t,” Robert reiterated. “Thank you.”

“Robert, don’t you dare,” Aaron said, getting annoyed. “Don’t thank me for doing the right thing. You think I’d let your son go into the care system? Do you think that little of me?”

“No,” Robert said softly. “I think the world of you.” Aaron looked down, unable to deal with that.

“Why don’t you stay for a drink?” Aaron suggested. “Seb will be back in a bit.”

“No,” Robert said, looking Aaron up and down. “What I want doesn’t come in a bottle. See you next week.” His eyes lingered across Aaron’s pelvis and Aaron curled his fingers into a fist.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Aaron said. It only made Robert grin more.

“I can’t help it,” Robert said. “I look at you and I want you.”

“Robert,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “Don’t.”

Robert closed the gap between them, still watching Aaron’s face carefully. “What are you so afraid of?” he asked softly.

“You broke my heart,” Aaron said voice wavering. “You always do in the end.”

“Aaron…” It was that voice, that soft “only for you” Robert voice that got Aaron weak. “It’s always been you.” He cupped Aaron’s face with one hand, Aaron’s skin warm.

“I can’t…” Aaron said. Robert felt like he wasn’t breathing as Aaron closed the gap and kissed him. It was quick, but when Robert pressed Aaron against the wall, kissing him deeper, that one wasn’t quick at all. Aaron groaned into Robert’s mouth, the sound reverberating through him. Robert "mmed" against him, his hand sliding under Aaron’s hoodie, feeling his body, still good, still oh so good. Everything started happening quickly, Aaron’s thigh pressing between Robert’s legs, Robert pulling at Aaron’s hair as he started taking his hoodie off. All mouth, heat, desperation, desire, Aaron grabbing at Robert’s shirt, needing it off.

Robert started kissing Aaron’s neck, the taste of him better than he’d imagined or remembered. God, Aaron was intoxicating as Aaron stroked his hands over Robert’s bare chest, things starting to spiral out of control. Until Aaron touched the scar on Robert’s side, and he lashed out, pinning Aaron against the wall, his arm across Aaron’s throat. This time holding him against the wall with fear.

“What…” Aaron started, having no idea what had flipped the switch, Robert breathing heavily. “Robert, calm down. It’s me. Okay? It's me.”

“I need to go,” Robert said quickly. “I shouldn’t… we shouldn’t.” Robert picked up his shirt and Aaron saw the scar that he’d touched.

“Where did you get that?” he asked.

“Prison,” Robert said, looking anywhere but directly at him. “I panicked, when you touched me there.

“You were hurt?” 

Robert couldn’t bear the sympathy in his voice, the pain. With the minimum amount of buttons done up for public decency, he left with a mumbled “I’ll call about Seb.” He left the Mill, leaving Aaron utterly bewildered, upset, and guilty about what had just happened.


	6. Chapter 6

Robert closed the door of his new place, breathing heavily. What had come over him? He’d been right where he wanted to be, pressing into Aaron’s body, kissing him, touching him after five years. Then he’d just frozen. God, he hated his stupid brain. “You’re not locked up any more. Stop feeling like it," he told himself.

Aaron knocked on Robert’s door. It had been empty for a while, it felt weird that Robert lived here now. “I can’t do this,” Robert said, shaking his head. He didn’t close the door in Aaron’s face though, so he pushed into the house.

“Are you all right?” Aaron asked.

“Tickety boo,” Robert said, managing to inject sarcasm into it.

“What just happened over the road?” Aaron asked, keeping a fair distance.

“It’s been… a while since I’ve been touched,” Robert said.

“How was prison?” Aaron asked. “Don’t lie to me.”

“Oh, a holiday,” Robert said. “You know what prisons like, it’s bloody hell.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aaron asked. “I know you won’t with Vic, or anyone else, but I’d get it.”

“I can’t,” Robert said. “If I open that box, I’ll never be able to close it again. The last two years… weren’t so bad.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. “What about the first year?”

“Oh, being locked in a box with criminals was delightful,” Robert said. “I can’t talk about it. I’m not avoiding your question, I just can’t.”

“Whatever’s going on with us, when you’re ready to talk about it, I’ll always be here to listen,” Aaron said. “I know how difficult it is, and I’ve never been inside for as long as you were.”

“Thanks,” Robert said. “I might take you up on that one day. Sorry, about earlier.”

“I’m going to break up with Ben,” Aaron said.

“Don’t do that for me,” Robert said. “I’m clearly messed up if I can’t even let you touch me without freaking out.”

“Robert, I don’t know…”

“Neither do I,” Robert said. “Just go, Aaron.”

“Are you going to be all right?”

“Yeah,” Robert said.

“The house seems… empty,” Aaron noticed. “I’ve got some of your stuff in boxes if you want it?”

“You put my stuff in storage?” Robert asked.

“In the attic,” Aaron said. “Some of it… I only packed it six months ago. The only thing that’s been gathering dust for years is your ridiculous coffee machine.”

Robert smiled a little at that. “Yes. If it’s not too much trouble.”

“Of course,” Aaron said, forcing a smile. “Come around tomorrow and pick it up.”

“I will.”

* * *

“Is this where the… _it’s not you, it’s me_ conversation comes in?” Ben asked.

“That’s the thing, isn’t it,” Aaron said. “It really isn’t you, and it really is me.”

“It’s Robert, then?” Ben said. “I knew it when he came back. Have you slept with him?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I don’t even think we’re getting back together, prison… damaged him. He’s not the same. It’s not that.”

“What is it?” Ben asked. “Go on, I can take it.”

“What I had with Robert years ago… it was real, the realest thing I’ve ever known. It’s… I can’t describe what I felt when I was with him. But it was _everything_.”

“With me, it’s not.”

“No,” Aaron said. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to mess you around, it’s taken me a while to accept it. You’re nice, you’re normal, you’re great.”

“But I’m just not him,” Ben said. “Yeah, I gathered that. The look on your face when he turned up on your doorstep.”

“Like what?”

“Like… you’d been waiting for him. I should have left there and then, but I hoped after five years… doesn’t matter I guess.” Ben moved closer and kissed his cheek. 

“Bye, Aaron.”

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, meaning it.

“Yeah, me too.”

* * *

“Come through to the back,” Chas said, waving Robert through. He smiled at her tiredly as she gave him another hug. “I didn’t think you’d be my biggest fan.”

“Aaron loves you,” Chas said. “You make him happy.”

“Loved me,” Robert said, putting into past tense. “I’m not sure anymore.”

“The pair of you are idiots,” Chas said simply.

“I wanted to ask,” Robert said. “Because apparently I like hurting myself. How many guys has Aaron been with?”

Chas sighed. “I like you, Robert. But he’s my son.”

“I’m not going to go off on a rant,” Robert said. “I want to know. I wanted him to move on, but it… I’m getting the impression he didn’t.” Now that Robert was free, this delighted him, even though at the time, he’d foolishly thought that was the better option.

“I think there’s been three,” Chas said. “Three I know about anyway.”

“Was he happy with any of them?”

“No,” Chas said. “The first one was just sex.” Robert flinched. “You asked,” she said.

“I know,” Robert said.

“The second one was a few dates, but nothing serious. Then Ben.”

“Right,” Robert said. “Thanks.”

“Who Aaron broke up with yesterday," Chas said pointedly. Robert stared at her.

“Really?”

“Yes. Do you still love him?” Chas asked, and Robert looked at her. It was so obvious, of course he did.

“Loving Aaron… it’s ingrained in my DNA at this point. I wouldn’t know how to stop, even if I wanted to.”

“It killed him,” Chas said. “Not being able to see you every week. It wouldn’t have mattered how long the sentence, he’d have visited you until you were free.”

“It’s so hard, Chas,” Robert said. “Seeing the person you love trapped and in pain, and knowing there is nothing you can do about it. No end in sight. I’ve been in that position, watching Aaron suffer through prison. I wouldn’t do it to him. I couldn’t. It could have been longer, I got lucky that it wasn’t.”

“I understand,” Chas said. “I’m just telling you, he went crazy.”

“I can imagine,” Robert said. “It wasn't a bundle of laughs for me either.”

“No,” she said. “Do me and Seb have to knock your heads together?”

Robert smiled. “That might be an idea.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Give me a hand.” Aaron had driven round to Robert’s with a full backseat of Robert’s things. Both men got the boxes into the house, panting and heaving. 

“How much did you keep?” Robert asked, breathless.

“All of it,” Aaron said. “I tried your coffee machine and it had broken, or I’d have brought it over too.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Robert said. “This is more than I thought I’d have.” Aaron started opening boxes in Robert’s living room while he stared at him. “What are you doing?”

“Looking for something.” Robert let him do it, feeling weird pangs of memory as he saw certain books, or old items of clothing. “Ah, got it. Here.” Aaron found a photo album, an old fashioned one and handed it to Robert. “It’s all pictures of Seb growing up. Getting older and bigger. I know people don’t really do photo albums these days, but I wanted to have one. For him.” Robert held it carefully, now that he knew what it contained.

“You’re giving it to me?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Really, it’s for him. When he’s eighteen, or twenty one. It doesn’t really belong to me or you. But I thought… you’d like to see it for a while. Keep hold of it.”

“Thank you,” Robert said. He’d seen the first photo, one of Robert holding Seb when he was very small. Robert would look at it when he was alone, because he was going to fall apart.

“On Sunday…” Aaron said. “I’m taking Seb out to the beach. He wants to go, and they give good weather. Or no rain at least. Do you want to come…”

“With you and him?” Robert said. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

“Do you want to drive?” Robert nodded, recognising the olive branch and he took it.

“Yeah,” Robert agreed. Aaron nodded in agreement and left the house. Neither of them had mentioned Ben.

* * *

Robert drove to the Mill, Seb barrelling into the backseat of the car almost before Robert had stopped the car.

“Hi!” he said brightly.

“You look excited,” Robert said, turning around to see him.

“Da and…” Seb waved his hand, indicating Robert and he knew that Seb didn’t quite know what to call him. “...you are taking me to the beach!”

“You can call me Rob,” he told him. “If you want to.” He knew it was too soon to be called “dad” and Aaron was that person to Seb. It only stung a little.

Aaron came out of the Mill with a rucksack which he threw into the back seat before sitting next to Robert. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, pleased. This should be a good day.

* * *

Conversation was easy on the car journey. Seb talking about school and Isaac and Hannah. What had been on the telly lately, nothing controversial. Including Seb made it easier to avoid dangerous territory. It felt like it was almost slipping back into the normal rhythms with Aaron, and Robert liked that.

Once they’d parked at the beach, Seb jumped out of the car, and was soon on the pebbles. “Is he always like this?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Come on.” They followed him, Aaron throwing himself down on the ground, and Robert following suit. It was freezing and Seb was the only one enjoying the beach, so they could keep an eye on him from a distance.

“He’s amazing,” Robert said.

“It’s not anything to do with me,” Aaron said. “He’s amazing all on his own.”

Robert smiled at him. “I hear you broke up with Ben.”

“Who told you? Nicola?” Aaron asked, thinking she liked a bit of village gossip.

“No, your mum,” Robert said.

“God, she likes you,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “Who’d have ever thought that?”

“I didn’t expect it,” Robert said. “Why? Did you break up with him, I mean.”

“It wasn’t right,” Aaron said. “I’ve been with him for about four months. The most memorable thing about our relationship was how I felt when you kissed me in my kitchen. Nothing else matches how that felt.”

“It felt good,” Robert said, smirking at him slightly. “I want to be with you, Aaron, I’m not hiding that.”

“If you hadn’t had panicked…” Aaron said. “We’d have slept together, wouldn’t we?”

“Probably,” Robert admitted.

“I’m glad we didn’t,” Aaron said. Robert flinched. “I don’t mean it… I can’t get back with you Robert. I want you, but… I’m terrified.”

“Of me?”

“Yeah, almost,” Aaron said. “You broke my heart. Shattered it.”

“I went to prison,” Robert said blankly. “I didn’t want to leave you.”

“Going to prison…” Aaron started. “I understand that. Refusing to allow me or your son to visit you? That was your choice, and that’s what hurt so much. Didn’t we matter enough?”

“Too much,” Robert said. “I love you both too much to watch me suffering week after week for years. To not let you go and move on? It would have been so painful for us both. It wouldn’t have helped anyone. And Seb? I didn’t want my son anywhere near there. To have violent criminals get an eyeful and know exactly who my son is, if I piss them off? I’ve been locked up for so much of his life that it would have been normal to him. Seb parroting back to the kids at school that he visits his dad in prison? I don’t want life any more difficult than it has to be for him. Visiting me? No.”

“Okay, I can see where you’re coming from with Seb,” Aaron admitted. “And yeah, I agree. It probably would have been disruptive for him. We’d have done it, for you.”

“I know you would have,” Robert said. “I never doubted that. Your life would have revolved around prison visits for years. You’d have suffered, seeing what I was going through and there would have been nothing you could do about it. Aaron, I love you too much to force you to suffer like that.”

“But you never gave me a choice,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “One day I was happily married, the next my husband was in prison and refusing visitation.”

“I thought it would be easier, long term,” Robert said. “I could have been inside for another three years, I got lucky that my sentence was reduced. You could have moved on properly. I wanted you to be happy.”

“It wasn’t about what you wanted,” Aaron said. “It was so painful, Robert. When it was my turn, I refused you visiting for one day, and you spiralled out of control so much you slept with someone else.” Robert flinched, looking away from him. “I’m not… bringing it back, we moved on from that, and I love Seb like he’s my own.”

“I know you do,” Robert said. “That’s one of my biggest regrets. Hurting you that way. I love Seb, but the destruction I caused…”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “But you thought… that that was okay. That you’d give me that level of pain constantly by not seeing you?” Robert shrugged. “You never believed I loved you as much as you loved me, did you?” Aaron said, pushing the point.

“No one does,” Robert said, voice shaking.

“Oh, Rob,” Aaron said. “I loved you. But you? You cut me off without a word. It was so easy for you as well.”

“You think it was easy?” Robert said. “It was the most difficult thing in my life!”

“It was the wrong choice,” Aaron said firmly.

“Maybe,” Robert said. “I can’t change it now, it’s gone.” They fell into silence, watching Seb who’d taken to throwing pebbles in the ocean. Robert saw one bounce across the water.

“He can skim stones?”

“Only sometimes,” Aaron said. “He likes trying it.” 

“If I hurt you so much, why did you never ask for a divorce?” Robert said. “I was in prison, it’s not like I could have stopped you. It would have saved all the awkward conversations too.”

“I couldn’t,” Aaron said, staring at Seb. “Divorcing you in prison? Without even talking to you? I couldn’t even think about it. If the tables had been turned, and it was the other way around, I’d have killed you for doing that to me.”

“I can’t say it would have been the highlight of my year,” Robert said darkly.

“Can you talk about prison?”

“Not today,” Robert said. “We’re taking our son out for the day, I don’t want to spoil it.”

“Robert, come on,” Aaron said. “How badly were you hurt?”

“I wasn’t… the worst in there,” Robert said. He sat up, focusing on Seb who was now paddling and getting wet. “People didn’t believe me at first, when they found out I was in there for GBH with intent.” Robert sighed. “When I said it was my sisters rapist? It suddenly got a lot more acceptable.”

“I didn’t ask how everyone else got on,” Aaron said. “How did you?”

“I got beat up a few times,” Robert said. “My smart mouth wasn’t so popular in prison. Winding up the wrong people. Mind you, I managed to get punched enough when I was out of prison too in the village, so I guess it’s not that special. I could cope with it. It’s the sleeping with one eye open, and it’s never quiet in prison. Getting real rest? It doesn’t happen.”

“No,” Aaron said. “I know.”

“I just feel so tired and old.”

“You look so thin,” Aaron said, making Robert bristle. He knew he was out of shape, he didn’t need Aaron commenting on it. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Were you stabbed?” Aaron pushed. “That scar looks surgical.”

“Yes,” Robert said. “Lying in a pool of my own blood for hours as I drifted in and out of consciousness before anyone bothered to report me.”

“You’re lucky to be alive,” Aaron realised.

“Yes,” Robert said, looking at Aaron. He could drown in those gorgeous eyes of his. 

“God, look at the state of you!” Aaron said, making Robert pay attention to the fact Seb had reappeared by their sides, dripping wet and with the biggest smile on his face.

“You look like a drowned rat,” Robert chipped in. It only made Seb grin more.

“Lets get you dry and into clean clothes,” Aaron said. “Then we’ll have fish and chips, sound good?” 

“Yes it does,” Robert answered, staring at Aaron for a few seconds too long.


	8. Chapter 8

Aaron knocked on the office door, going in to see Nicola on the phone, Robert behind his desk, and Thomas looking completely put out at being demoted. “Oh, hi,” Aaron said. Robert’s eyes smiled at him, though he didn’t move. Nicola finished her phone call then nodded to Tom. “Get out. Leave them to it," Nicola said.

“What?” Tom asked.

“I’m assuming you don’t have any pressing Haulage concerns?” Nicola asked Aaron.

“Er… no,” Aaron said, still looking at Robert.

“Tom, you’re on an early lunch,” Nicola said.

“Why?!” Tom asked. God, he was annoying.

“Because those two are either going to argue, kill each other or have sex, and I don’t want to be in the audience for that.” She looked at both men. “No offence.”

“Oh, no, of course not,” Robert said sarcastically.

“Do you want us to stay?”

“Early lunch it is,” Robert said. Nicola’s raised eyebrows showed exactly what she thought of Aaron coming over, but he ignored this, pulling up a chair opposite Robert’s desk.

“It’s like you never left,” Aaron said quietly.

“In some ways.” Robert shut the laptop staring at Aaron. “You’ve been quiet since the beach.”

“Yeah, I have,” Aaron said. “We never really talked about what you told me.”

“I couldn’t get a word out of you,” Robert said. This was true. During fish and chips, Aaron had been quiet and Robert knew he was thinking everything over. Other than the practicalities of getting Seb in dry clothes, fed and home, they hadn’t spoken much.

“You’d just told me you’d been stabbed in prison,” Aaron said. “That it’s only luck that you’re not dead. Did you have any idea what that would have done to me? Your family? I’d have been burying my husband who I hadn’t even seen in years. I could have been... Not to mention how I’d have coped with that, and... God.”

“Being shived in prison wasn’t great for me either,” Robert said.

“Why did it happen?”

“There wasn’t really a why,” Robert said. “The guy was a psychopath who didn’t like my smart mouth. You know what I get like, winding people up because I can. Taking cheap shots. He got moved to a high security prison not long afterwards.”

“You reported him?”

“God, no,” Robert said, almost laughing. “Do you think being a grass would have made my time in prison easier? No, he was just insane and would go for anyone. Including the prison guards.”

“Oh,” Aaron said. “Were you hurt anywhere else?”

“Bumps and bruises, you know how it is.”

“Robert, were you raped?”

“No,” Robert said calmly, looking at Aaron levelly. “Not that.”

“I won't… Just if you need to tell someone,” Aaron said, struggling for words on such a sensitive subject.

“I’m not hiding it,” Robert said, reaching across the desk and holding his hand for a few seconds before letting go. “There’s nothing to hide. I wouldn’t lie to you, not about that.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. “I just wondered.”

“Yeah,” Robert said, the silence slight uncomfortable. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.”

“I know, I just… miss you.” Aaron suddenly seemed embarrassed, dropping his eyes. “Let me know if I’m completely wrong, but do you still want me?”

“God, Robert,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “It’s not so easy. I can’t let myself go there again, because if it goes wrong… we’ve got Seb, and it would break me to lose you again. You have no idea what state I was in when you went to prison.”

“So… yes,” Robert said, pushing the point, and smiling at him.

“I hate you,” Aaron said without heat and not meaning it at all.

“Yeah, I know.” Robert smiled at him. “A drink?”

“I can't tonight,” Aaron said.

“How about after I pick Seb up from school tomorrow?”

Aaron nodded, thinking about it and he agreed. “Yes.”

Robert smiled at him. "That's a plan then."

* * *

As it turned out, that didn’t happen. Aaron was called into the school in the middle of the day and he’d stopped to pick Robert up on the way there. The car journey was tense, because the school hadn’t exactly given Aaron a lot of information. “What’s happened?”

“I already told you. I don’t know,” Aaron said.

“Is he all right?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Aaron said. “God, why is the school so far away?” Neither spoke until Aaron was leading the way through the school, searching for someone to give them information.

“Hi,” the headteacher said to Aaron, Mrs Lock. “I'm glad you could come in. Sebastian punched another child, and that’s why we called you.” She looked at Robert pointedly.

“This is Robert, he’s Seb’s father,” Aaron said dismissively. He’d previously filled in the school about Seb’s family situation, and Robert hadn’t done enough school runs to be familiar to them.

“Why did he hit someone?” Robert asked.

“Seb’s not in trouble,” she said quickly. “The boy was teasing Seb about his gay dads, and Seb hit him. The other child's parents are being spoken to.”

“Teasing?” Aaron said, voice dangerously low. “You mean being a bigot.”

“Well…” she said, looking entirely uncomfortable. “We’re not going to tell him off because of the circumstances, but we still called you because… he did hit someone.”

“We’ll sort it,” Robert said firmly. Aaron stared at him. “Under the assumption that Seb will not be “teased” for his family situation again.”

“Of course,” she said. “The other parents were horrified.”

“Good,” Aaron said. “Where is he?”

They were shown through to a room where Seb was with a teaching assistant. His lip wobbled and he looked like he knew he was in trouble. “It’s fine,” Aaron said. “You’re all right.” Seb hurled himself into Aaron’s arms, and he hugged him tightly. Robert ruffled his hair.

“Chris was being mean!” Seb shouted.

“I know,” Aaron said. “We’ll talk about it at home.”

“We thought… the school days not over...” the headteacher started, but when both Robert and Aaron glared at her, whatever she was going to say dying in the air, before they took Seb out of school.

* * *

Seb was quiet until they got home, clearly expecting a telling off. Robert leaving Aaron alone to deal with this wasn’t even an option, Aaron leaving the door of the Mill wide open.

“We’re not going to shout at you,” Aaron said again. “Come here and tell me what happened.” Seb sat on Aaron’s lap on the sofa, Robert on the armchair as the boy sniffed.

“Chris was so bad! He kept laughing at me!” Seb said. “He was saying nasty stuff. I didn’t really understand it all. He said you were horrible because you were gay!”

“That’s not true,” Aaron said as his heart sunk. He’d always done his best for Seb to be seen as normal, to have the easiest life possible. “The horrible bit anyway. You know I’m not horrible, right?”

“Uhuh,” Seb agreed, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. “I hit him to shut him up. What does gay mean? He said it like it was awful!”

Aaron looked at Robert for a moment, thinking quickly. “Nothing bad,” Aaron said. “Gay isn't a bad thing." Aaron chanced a look at Robert before carrying on. "All it means is… I’m a guy who has boyfriends rather than girlfriends.”

“Yeah?” Seb asked. He knew that, he’d been around Ben enough, knew that Robert and Aaron were his parents. He didn’t understand why it was a problem.

“Some people don’t like that,” Aaron said. “They don’t understand. They think men should be with women, like your nana Chas and Paddy?”

“But..” Seb screwed up his face. “It doesn’t matter!”

“No,” Aaron said, smiling at him and feeling like he’d done a good job after all. “It doesn’t, but some people think it does. They’re wrong, that’s all.”

“Seb, it doesn’t matter who you like,” Robert said, chipping in. “We want you to be happy. Oh, and don’t hit other kids.”

“At least when the teachers can see,” Aaron said, giving him a wink, making Seb giggle. Aaron gave Seb a kiss on the top of his head, and he moved to play with his toys. Aaron let out a deep breath, laying back on the sofa, feeling exhausted.

“I never know if I’m doing right with him,” Aaron said.

“You’re doing great,” Robert said. “Has he ever done anything like this before?”

“No,” Aaron said. “As much a shock to me as it is to you.”

“Thanks for picking me up to come with you,” Robert said. “I should go.”

“No, don’t,” Aaron said. “Stay and cook dinner for us.”

“Oh, cook?” Robert asked. "You're volunteering me, are you?"

“Watch a bit of telly maybe,” Aaron said. “Put Seb to bed. Stay for a glass of red wine.”

“You drink red wine now, do you?”

“Only with good company,” Aaron said. “I bought that red you used to like. Stay.”

Robert recognised a sincere invitation and nodded. “Okay.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has taken me ages to write, so please be kind! Thank you for your support this far!

Seb yawned again, though he tried to hide it.

“Bed,” Aaron said.

“Oh, no da…”

“Bed,” Aaron said firmly. “Do you want me or Robert to tuck you in?” 

“Rob,” Seb decided. Robert almost glowed from the attention as Seb barrelled upstairs.

“Make sure he’s brushed his teeth and is in his pyjamas,” Aaron said. “He does most of it himself.”

“Okay,” Robert said, putting his wine glass down and padding up the stairs. There was something about Robert in socks going up their ridiculous staircase to put their son to bed that felt so normal and homey. It felt right. Aaron topped up both their glasses, then listened to the distant sound of footsteps until it went quiet, and Robert came down the stairs, smiling.

“He’s sound asleep,” Robert said, sitting next to Aaron on the sofa. “Thanks for letting me do that.”

“Robert, he’s your son,” Aaron said.

“Our son,” Robert said. “No matter what’s going on between you and me, I’ll never leave him again. It’d kill me.” Aaron nodded.

“I know.” Aaron patted his thigh for a moment. “Do you want to watch a film?”

“We can,” Robert said. “Pick whatever you like.” Aaron didn’t move or pick up the remote for the TV.

“It’s a bit weird,” Aaron said, head resting on the sofa as he looked at Robert. “Having you back after so long.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “This wasn’t how I planned our lives to go.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Aaron said, half a smile on his face.

“You look good when you smile.”

“It’s easy with you,” Aaron said. “Even when it shouldn’t be, it just is. I don’t think it would matter how much time had passed.”

“No?” Robert asked.

“That’s not an excuse to go back to prison,” Aaron said, and Robert rolled his eyes. “Stay.”

“I’m already here,” Robert said, frowning at him.

“No, I mean… stay,” Aaron said. It felt like there was no air between them as Robert looked at him, realising what Aaron was suggesting. Aaron didn’t look away, and it looked like there was almost a challenge in his eyes.

“I’m not going to help you out here,” Robert said, pushing it just a bit more. “What do you want, Aaron?” Aaron closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss. He hesitated before pressing their lips together, waiting. “You can, if you want to,” Robert said lowly, his words brushing against Aaron’s mouth. Aaron nodded very slightly, closing his eyes and finally kissing him. Robert didn’t move for a split second, letting Aaron take the lead. Aaron backed off, giving Robert half a smile, that cheeky grin that said he knew what he wanted and he was going to get it, before leaning in for another kiss. Robert sighed into it, Aaron pushing him back against the sofa.

“Are you up for this?” Aaron asked breathlessly and Robert nodded. “You’re not touching me.”

“I’m savouring the moment,” Robert said softly, eyes slightly blown already. 

Aaron looked at Robert and knew. He could turn this man into putty in his hands in just a couple of minutes. He knew Robert’s body so intimately, and he knew what touches turned Robert on the most. Had that changed in five years? Even if it had, he wanted to draw this out, make Robert beg for him. He could do it, he knew that. Had he had sex with Robert a thousand times? Probably. He knew that biting the top of Robert’s shoulder made him gasp and arch up for more. He knew that tracing his fingers across the freckles on the inside of his thighs made him squirm, ticklish. Knew that his favourite thing in the world was being rimmed and it’d make him come very quickly. Aaron liked to do that when he’d already come once, because it turned Robert into the most delicious whiny begging mess for him, and it was such a turn on. Aaron knew everything intimate about him.

“Are we going to do this?” Robert asked lowly.

“I want to,” Aaron said.

“But?” Robert asked, reading the hesitation.

Aaron grinned and put his wine glass down before whispering in Robert’s ear. “I want to have you slowly. I want you begging for me.” Robert’s eyes glowed, then he looked upstairs, pointedly. Aaron grinned, and touched Robert’s fingers lightly, leading the way upstairs.

* * *

They didn’t speak until the bedroom door closed, the tension definitely there in the room.

“I want to see you,” Aaron said.

“Help yourself,” Robert said, grinning. Aaron smiled and kissed him, unbuttoning his shirt.

“Don’t panic,” Aaron said. Robert frowned, then nodded as he realised what he meant. Robert’s shirt fell to the floor and Aaron watched him carefully as he got to his knees, gently touching the scar on his side.

“Aaron…” Robert said, warning him.

“I won’t hurt you,” Aaron said. He moved closer and kissed along the length of his scar, slowly. Robert’s hand rested in his hair, breathing heavily as he did so. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Feels weird, but yeah.”

“No one’s touched you here,” Aaron guessed and Robert nodded. Aaron brushed his nose against Robert’s belly, too flat, too thin, but there was time, heading south. He unbuckled Robert’s belt, Robert helping get his jeans off as quickly as he could. Aaron chanced a look up at him. “I always loved your thighs.”

“Yeah?” Robert asked, smiling.

“Get on the bed.”

“You’re in control?” Robert said.

“You love it when I’m in control,” Aaron countered, knowing it to be true.

“Put me where you want me,” Robert said, more than up for the challenge. He kissed Aaron deeply before laying down, still in his briefs. Aaron started taking his own clothes off while Robert watched hungrily. He was quick, but not quick enough for Robert’s tastes and he grabbed his arm, pulling him over the bed, making Aaron fall and laugh. Robert kissed him, tasting him as his hands slid down Aaron’s back, squeezing his arse and Aaron gasped.

“I’ve missed you,” Aaron said quietly. “Missed all of you, but God I’ve missed this.” He had. When they were together physically, the rest of the world melted away. It was playful and sexy and fun and thrilling.

“I fantasised about you,” Robert said, whispering into his ear as he pulled his underwear down, getting a handful of Aaron and starting to stroke him slowly. “About what I’d do to you if we were ever alone again. How I’d make you whine for me. How your face looks when I touch you. And fuck you.” Aaron panted, then twisted away from him. 

“Don’t want this to be over so soon,” Aaron gasped. Robert smirked at him as Aaron reached for the lube and condoms in the bedside table, Robert getting rid of his own underwear.

“Please,” Robert said. “I want to bottom.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Robert said surely.

“Okay,” Aaron said. He kissed across Robert’s neck, making sure to brush his stubble against Robert’s skin, taking his time. He teased Robert’s entrance with one finger, slowly pushing into him.

“Just fuck me,” Robert begged. He didn’t want to waste time being stretched or prepared like this.

“I can’t,” Aaron said. “You’ll be sore tomorrow.”

“Let me be,” Robert said. “I wanna be sore, I want to feel you for as long as I can.” Aaron looked at him and realised how much this meant to Robert, this moment he’d been waiting for for years. They both had really. Aaron sucked his earlobe, then kissed behind his ear. 

“There’s going to be a second time,” he promised. “And another after that. This isn’t it.”

“Yeah?” Robert asked, voice breaking.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I’m not going to hurt you no matter how much you beg, let me finger you a bit.” Robert spread his thighs, groaning as Aaron’s slick fingers pushed into him. The press of him felt good, and it was as if his body was remembering exactly how Aaron liked to touch him. Familiar and new all at the same time.

Aaron shifted them in bed, moving Robert until he was how he wanted him. Aaron thrust inside him and Robert threw his head back on the pillows, concentrating.

“How are you feeling?” Aaron asked as he bottomed out, holding Robert’s thighs so he could get the perfect angle.

“Rusty,” Robert admitted.

“You feel so good,” Aaron said. “It’s always been you. No one makes me feel as good as you.” Robert let out half a breath, half a sob, muffled against Aaron’s neck. Aaron started rolling his hips, brushing against Robert’s prostate with unnerving precision, and Robert could feel his toes curling already. Robert leaned up to kiss him, trying not to tell Aaron how much he loved him. It might have broken the moment really. Robert reached between their sweat covered bodies to stroke himself off.

“No,” Aaron said, pinning his wrist above his head. “Let me.”

“Hurry up,” Robert breathed. This was going to be over embarrassingly quickly, but right now he didn’t care. Aaron wrapped his fingers around his length and touched him in time with his thrusts and Robert yelled as he orgasmed, the rush of heat making him breathless as he moaned. Aaron didn’t waste any time, coming deep inside Robert, both of them panting, Aaron’s eyes heavy as he looked at Robert.

“Good?” Robert asked.

“Great,” Aaron replied. “Mm…”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Robert said, his palm stroking Aaron’s face, then across his shoulders with tenderness. Aaron smiled at him.

“I need a shower,” Aaron said. “For two?”

Robert nodded. “Good idea.”

* * *

Robert woke with a jolt of fear, realising he was being touched. “Hey, it’s only me,” Aaron soothed and Robert’s racing heart slowed down a touch. “I’ve got to go, but I didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

“Go where?” Robert asked.

“Seb’s school run,” Aaron said. “It’s fine, sleep. You need it.”

“Are you coming back?” Robert asked, thinking Aaron might go to work.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Go back to sleep.” Robert didn’t, though. He waited until he heard the door close and the car engine fade away, then got up. With his racing heart, the sudden bout of fear that he’d had from being woken up like that… sleep wasn’t going to happen. But on the other hand, sleeping in until eight was more than he usually did these days.

He got up, slipped Aaron’s jogging bottoms on (a little short on him) and went downstairs to make himself a coffee while he had some time alone.

Aaron only had instant. Robert turned his nose up at that and thought that would have to change. If he was coming around again. Would this be repeated? He felt a bit disconcerted because he hadn’t been expecting that last night. Not at all. Did Aaron want them to be together? He looked out the window while contemplating it all when the door opened.

“Are you skiving work today?” Robert asked while staring out the window.

“Didn’t think you’d care either way.” He whipped around to see Chas, holding a key from where she’d let herself in, looking Robert up and down and smiling at him with a knowing glint in her eye. "Enjoy yourself last night?" she teased.


	10. Chapter 10

“I see you had an entertaining evening,” Chas said, and he could hear the glee in her voice.

“Do you always let yourself in to other people's houses?” Robert asked, annoyed that his contemplation was over, and that Chas would probably blab to the whole village.

“Seb left his books at the pub,” she said, dumping them on the kitchen table. “Aaron told me to drop it round whenever. He didn’t tell me to expect company.”

“I don’t think he was expecting company himself,” Robert said quietly. Then he looked at her. “It wasn’t planned.”

“When will you two stop kidding yourselves?” Chas shook her head and tucked her keys in her handbag and was about to go through the door when Nicola, of all people burst through it.

“Oh, hi Robert!” she said. Robert blinked at her, not prepared for a house full when he was shirtless, having just woken up.

“Oh, please come in!” he said sarcastically.

“You weren’t at home,” Nicola said. “I assumed you’d be here.”

“Why would you think that?” Robert asked. Chas and Nicola shared a look. “Yeah, yeah,” Robert said, giving it up. “What did you want?”

“To give you these files,” Nicola said. “I want you to check them and sign off on them.”

“You can’t wait for me to put a shirt on?”

“It’s not like we haven’t seen it all before,” Nicola said, looking at Chas and both women laughing.

“Right, get out,” Robert said. “You’ve had your fun, now get lost. I’m not at work today.”

Chas looked slightly concerned, Nicola laughing as he chivvied both women out. Robert closed the door and sighed. He could have done without that.

* * *

Aaron watched Seb go into school, he always did before driving home. Just in case. If Seb would let him get away with it, he’d walk him in, but he was too grown up for that now apparently. Aaron didn’t drive off straight away, he stayed parked, thinking about last night. With Robert, that had been incredible. It had felt so right and hearing Robert moan for him had been an amazing turn on. In the shower he hadn’t stopped whining for him, Aaron could still hear it now.

Having sex with Robert didn’t solve anything between them, or their relationship, but there was no denying it had felt good. Both of their bodies remembered the rhythm, and God, he’d been starving for sex like that since the morning Robert went to prison in the first place. Where did that leave them? He couldn’t give Robert up, as much as it might make sense. He knew that deep down. Robert would always be around him, on the periphery or not. He couldn’t jump right back in with Robert. When he’d been sent down, they’d been so rock solid, happily married, planning an entire family, a whole new life. They weren’t in that place now, couldn’t be. Too much time had gone by.

The car horn disturbed him from his thoughts. “Yeah, all right, I’m going,” he muttered.

* * *

Aaron came home to find Robert dressed, leaning over the kitchen table and doing work. It made him stop, looking at how normal it was.

“Hey,” Aaron said.

“Oh,” Robert said, closing the file. “Nicola dropped these off, I was just killing time.”

“Nicola was here?”

“She said I wasn’t home, so she guessed I’d be here,” Robert said, giving Aaron a look.

“Great.”

“And your mum brought Sebs books back,” Robert said.

“So the whole village is going to know by lunchtime,” Aaron summarised.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Great,” Aaron said dully.

“I’m not sorry,” Robert said. “About last night. It’s okay if you are, but I’m not.”

“No,” Aaron said. “I don’t regret it.” Robert let out the breath he’d been holding since he’d woken up. “I’ve been reliving it all morning.”

“Yeah, me too,” Robert said, because he had been.

“I don’t know where this leaves us,” Aaron said. “I don’t want Seb to know we’re… together, until we know…”

“Agreed,” Robert said quickly. “I don’t want to uproot his life again until we’re sure.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “But us?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said. “I know what I want, but…”

“I want you, Robert,” Aaron said. “God, I do. But I’m scared. It’s not just prison. Every time I let myself fall for you, you break my heart. Chrissie, Rebecca, Seb, shovelling Lee. It’s always something, and I don’t want you to promise you’ll never do it again either.”

“I don’t do it on purpose,” Robert said.

“I know.” Robert got up and tentatively hugged Aaron, but Aaron was pliant and settle into Robert’s arms easily. He smiled at Robert when he let him go.

“Did you sleep with anyone in prison?” Aaron asked.

“What?!” Robert spluttered. “Where did that come from?”

“I just want to know,” Aaron said.

“What answer would make you happier?”

“The honest one,” Aaron said.

“No,” Robert said. “I didn’t.” Aaron twitched, looking uncomfortable. “Don’t,” Robert said. “I wanted you to move on.”

“I still feel guilty,” Aaron said.

“I wanted you to have someone,” Robert said. “I was sentenced to prison, I didn’t want you to be too.”

“I’d always be in prison without you,” Aaron said softly. Robert reached for him and squeezed his hand.

“Where is your wedding ring?” Robert asked. He'd been meaning to mention it for a while.

“Safe,” Aaron said. “I didn’t feel right wearing it.”

“Okay.” It hurt, but Robert understood.

* * *

“Hi,” Aaron said, coming into the pub. 

“I bumped into someone in your kitchen this morning,” Chas teased lightly.

“Yeah, listen,” Aaron said quickly. “About that. We’re not telling Seb anything. We don’t want to disrupt him… if it’s not going to stick.”

“I won’t say anything,” Chas said. “I understand that. He’s already had it tough with his mum dying and his father going to prison.” Aaron felt glad that that hadn’t taken too much persuasion. “How are you?”

“I have no idea,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “I wasn’t expecting that…”

“Are you happy?” Chas asked.

“For now? Yeah, I think I am,” Aaron said. Chas smiled at him, because that was all she wanted.


	11. Chapter 11

Robert picked Seb up from school, planning to have dinner with both him and Aaron. Robert could see this might develop into a habit, not that he was complaining. It felt good, normal.

Seb dived through the front door, smiling at Aaron as he chattered away. “We were talking about family today!” he said eagerly. “Can I see mum?”

Robert looked at Aaron, but Aaron didn’t seem surprised at the question.

“How about the weekend?” Aaron suggested. “It’s too far away right now, on a school night.”

“You promise?” Seb asked.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Me or Robert will take you to see her, I promise.”

“Okay!” Seb said happily, going upstairs.

“I’ll take him,” Robert said feeling incredibly guilty. “You don’t want to go and visit her.”

Aaron looked at him, confused. “Do you think this is the first time he’s asked to see his mum in four years?” he said. Robert blanched, because of course it wasn’t. Seb spoke very casually, like he’d accepted his mother was dead. At two and a half he wouldn’t have been able to comprehend that, so Aaron had probably had some uncomfortable conversations with him. “Who do you think talks to him about Rebecca?”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said.

“I’d do anything for him,” Aaron said. “Including going to graves I don’t really want to go to.”

“I should have been here,” Robert said. “You shouldn’t have dealt with all that. Explaining that his mothers dead?”

“Yeah you should have been,” Aaron said. “But I was okay because I had Seb. He was the only person who missed you just as much as I did.” Aaron’s eyes were wet and Robert pulled him in to a tight hug. “It’s been hard.”

“Yeah,” Robert agreed. “Hard for me too. I missed everyone in my life, and…”

“I know,” Aaron said into his neck.

“We don’t have to go to see her if you don’t want to.” They looked towards the stairs where Seb was watching them, looking all solemn.

“Oh, we’re not upset with you,” Aaron said. “Me and your dad are just being soppy. We’re going.”

“Yeah?” Seb asked.

“I promised you,” Aaron said, smiling at him. “If you want to see your mum, tell her your adventures, we’ll do that.”

“Oh, good,” Seb said. “I’m hungry.”

“Yeah, we’ll get dinner on the way,” Aaron said. He sniffed and Robert patted his back as they sorted food out in the kitchen.

* * *

“I should be getting home,” Robert said later that night.

“You don’t have to,” Aaron said, looking at Robert. On Aaron’s sofa, he looked at home, like he’d never left. Shirt unbuttoned at the neck, glass of wine in his hand, it looked right.

“We’re taking things… slow,” Robert reminded him. “Right?”

“I know,” Aaron said. “But you could stay. Seb likes having you here, and so do I. We don’t have to have sex.”

Robert laughed at that, eyes light. “I’m an old man now,” Robert said. “Couldn’t manage two nights in a row.”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Aaron said, and Robert smiled. Aaron kissed him softly. “I like it when you’re here.”

“Okay,” Robert said. “I’ll stay.”

* * *

Robert woke up to a sharp elbow in his side. He couldn’t catch his breath, was in a cold sweat and panicking in the dark. “I had to wake you,” Aaron said quietly. “Easy, just breathe in and out.” Aaron flicked a lamp on as Robert tried to get his breathing under control.

“Was I screaming?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Muttering and frowning and kicking. You weren’t happy.” Robert nodded. That was good, he didn’t want to disturb Seb. “Can I touch you or would you rather not?” Robert nodded and Aaron’s chest became his pillow, Aaron threading his fingers through Robert’s hair. “You’re safe.” Eventually Robert quietened down, his breathing and half choked sobbing having subsided. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?”

“Prison,” Robert said.

“I guessed that,” Aaron said. “I meant more specifically. You can talk to me about it. I’ve been there, I’d get it.”

“I know I can talk to you,” Robert said, sitting up and searching for words. “It’s hard for me to know what to say.” Aaron held his hand in silence, not demanding anything of him. “The toughest thing was missing my family. Going so long without seeing anyone. I know it’s my fault,” he added as Aaron was about to say something. “That didn’t make it any easier. Days and weeks felt like forever, and I missed you and home so much. I missed free air.”

“I do know what you mean,” Aaron said. “Prison gets so routine, every day is the same. You can’t get up when you want, leave the house, just… be.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “That is it. So even on days that weren’t so bad, and there were some, but it still hurt to be away from home.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said.

“Once they found out what I was in for, I got a bit of an easier time,” Robert said. “Trying to kill my sisters rapist? Yeah, gold star for that one.” Robert shook his head. “It’s being locked up, not having any say over your life and all you’ve got is time.”

“I know,” Aaron said.

“I missed home almost as much as I missed you,” Robert said. “I just wanted to be free. I’d spent a long time hiding who I was. I was frightened for the world to see that I liked men. Over time, with you, I wasn’t like that any more. I was myself, and with you we were happy. I was openly in a relationship with a man and the world hadn’t ended. Then all of a sudden, I had to hide that part of my life. I couldn’t be who I’d fought to be, I had to pretend to be straight. It hurt, locking that part of me back down. More than I expected.”

Aaron pulled Robert to him in a hug. “Have you thought about going to therapy?” he asked. “To deal with prison, and how it affected you.”

“I’ve thought about it,” Robert said. “Not done anything yet.”

“You should,” Aaron said.

“I know,” Robert said.

“I’ll always listen,” Aaron said. “But it might help to talk it through with a professional.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “You’re right. I’m not that affected, living day to day with it. It’s when I’m sleeping.”

“You were all right last night,” Aaron said.

“I was fucked out,” Robert said with a grin.

“Okay, fair enough,” Aaron said with a smile. “Do you need a drink?” A cup of tea would be amazing, but he didn’t say it. “Tea,” Aaron decided, reading him well. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Robert stared at the ceiling, thinking to himself. Aaron might have wanted to go slow, but the two of them? They didn’t really do that. When it came to each other, they gave their hearts unreservedly and completely. They didn’t know how to do otherwise.


	12. Chapter 12

Aaron didn’t need to lead the way to Rebecca’s grave, Seb already knew it by heart. He felt bad for about three seconds that he’d not bought flowers, but Seb didn’t seem to care. He chattered along to the headstone as Aaron and Robert sat on a nearby bench.

“How often do you bring him here?” Robert asked. 

“Every three or four months?” Aaron said. “Whenever he asks. Sometimes he goes longer without asking.”

“I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.”

“It’s for him,” Aaron said. “Don’t feel guilty.”

“I do,” Robert said. “I feel like it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not,” Aaron said. “She died, it’s no ones fault. I’m just grateful she didn’t have Seb with her when the car hit her.”

“Where was Seb?”

“She’d left him in the house.”

“Alone?” Robert asked and Aaron glared at him. “He was two.”

“Yes,” Aaron said. He looked at Robert and shook his head. “We never should have left him with her. She loved him, I know that, but she was not capable of looking after a toddler.”

“I felt guilty,” Robert said.

“I know,” Aaron said. “He’s all right. We all did okay in the end.”

“Okay, I’m done,” Seb said brightly, having run over to them breathless.

“Milkshake?” Aaron suggested.

“Yes!” Seb agreed loudly. “Bye mum!”

* * *

“Robert!” He looked up from his desk and grinned at Jimmy. He'd not seen his friend since he'd come home.

“Hi,” Robert said happily, resisting from hugging him. “Anyone would say you’ve been hiding from me.”

“Nico’s had me on bed rest,” Jimmy said, sitting down and resting his crutch against the desk.

“You’ve had surgery on your hip,” Nicola said without looking up from her paperwork. “You’re not twenty five any more.”

“A hip replacement?” Robert said, privately wondering if he’d been in prison for longer than he thought.

“No, nothing so dramatic,” Jimmy said.

“Jimmy tried to get into a position his hip didn’t like.” Nicola’s eyebrow raise at “position” made it quite clear what he was talking about and Robert laughed as Jimmy looked embarrassed.

“God, it’s worse than teenagers!” Tom said, Jimmy’s nephew. As usual, the three of them ignored him.

“People still have sex when they’re past thirty,” Nicola said.

“Mm, apparently,” Robert said, chipping in.

“How is Aaron?” Jimmy asked. Robert looked at Nicola. 

“I found you half naked in Aaron’s kitchen,” Nicola said. “I might have mentioned it to Jimmy.”

“It’s a long story,” Robert said. “We’re not sure how it’s going to go, so we’re not telling Seb about us.”

“Seb’s seven, not stupid,” Nicola said. “He’ll have picked up on something.”

“His life has changed so much already,” Robert said. “Aaron and I… we don’t want to put another change on him.”

“You two will make it work,” Jimmy said. “You always do.”

“I’m glad you’re so confident,” Robert said.

“We’re not buying you a gift for your third wedding,” Nicola said, like she was getting that in quickly. “For the record.”

“We’re not getting married,” Robert said. “We’re still technically married anyway, Aaron never filed for divorce.”

“That should tell you something,” Jimmy said kindly. Yeah, maybe it did.

* * *

Aaron hadn’t seen Robert for a couple of days. Both of them were busy at work, and their paths hadn’t crossed and in the end? God, Aaron missed him. He’d gone for so long living, like he was going through the motions, that Robert coming home? He really was the centre of Aaron’s universe, and he couldn’t fight it. He arranged for Chas to look after Seb on Friday night, because he was going to take Robert out on a proper date.

* * *

“What do you want to do on Friday?” Aaron asked Robert on the phone.

Robert laughed. “Do you want me to come around and cook for us?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I want to take you out.” There was a pause on the phone and Aaron wondered if he’d misstepped. “Is that…”

“A great idea,” Robert said. “Where are you taking me?”

Aaron smiled, relieved. “Wherever you want. We could go to a bar, then a film, or…”

“There’s a new restaurant in Hotten,” Robert said. “Or new to me. The Indian restaurant.”

“Oh yeah,” Aaron said. “So you want to go there?”

“Yeah,” Robert said.

“I’ll pick you up on Friday.”

“You want to do it properly,” Robert realised.

“Yes,” Aaron said. “We’ve not been out together and I want to be. Not with Seb, just us.”

“I like just us,” Robert said. “Looking forward to it.”

“Also…” Aaron started. “I er… booked a hotel room.”

Robert almost dropped his phone. “Oh?”

“For old times sake.”

“Okay,” Robert said.

“Is that…” Aaron suddenly felt nervous.

“Definitely a good idea,” Robert said. “Is Chas okay to look after Seb overnight?”

“Yeah, I’ve already checked,” Aaron said lowly. Robert couldn’t stop from grinning.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the feedback, it really helps! No smut here (sorry) but I hope you like this chapter all the same!

A black shirt? Was that the right way to go? Aaron liked his freckled skin, so something dark would probably be the better choice, and maroon almost felt like before. He decided to go with the black, trying to fight off the nerves. He was going on a date with a man he’d married - twice, had a long affair with, bought and renovated a house with and planned a family with. And here Robert was, feeling so nervous. It didn’t make any sense at all.

* * *

Robert hadn’t been home. He’d been meeting someone for the Haulage firm in Hotten, so it felt completely pointless to drive back home just to turn around and come back. Aaron had agreed to meet him in town, and Robert had only been waiting a couple of minutes, having a drink in a bar by the time he turned up. Robert smiled, relieved that he hadn’t been kept waiting.

“You look great,” Robert said. Aaron did, wearing a well fitting dark jumper and jeans. He’d made an effort, because they fit better than his usual comfy clothes he lounged around in.

“Seb had a good day at school,” Aaron said. “He was looking forward to spending time with his nana.” Robert nodded, grateful. “There’s a parents evening or afternoon… thingy next week.”

“Are you inviting me?”

“Yes,” Aaron said. “Seb would like it if we’re both there. He likes you.”

“I think I’m making an impression,” Robert said.

“I know it’s tough with him,” Aaron said. “I know that it’s not your fault that he doesn’t remember, but you’re doing well.”

“He’s amazing,” Robert said.

“Another drink, or that Indian you’re after?” Aaron asked.

“Food first,” Robert said. “I’ve not eaten all day.”

* * *

Robert hadn’t had a really good curry in years, and the meal was absolutely delicious. He felt replete, happy, and slightly buzzed. It had been a wonderful evening, and Aaron had been more relaxed than usual, not having a child or a business to look after. More like the 33 year old he was. God, was Aaron only 33? He’d been through so much.

“So, do you want my foot running up your leg again, or should we find that hotel?” Robert asked. Aaron drained his pint glass in answer, making Robert grin.

* * *

“What’s the name on the reservation?” the receptionist said.

“Sugden Dingle,” Aaron said. Robert swung around to look at him in surprise. “I never changed it back,” he said simply.

“All these years…?”

“I couldn’t be bothered with the paperwork,” Aaron said softly, smiling at him.

“You filthy little liar,” Robert said with affection.

“Yeah, well,” Aaron said. “I thought about it. About a year ago?”

“Why didn’t you go through with it?” Robert asked as the receptionist was now tapping her fingernails against the desk impatiently.

“Because,” Aaron said. “Changing my name back, it would have been like… either saying that we didn’t matter, or we didn’t count and it was a mistake in the first place. Which it wasn’t. Or it was like it was erasing you. That was my name, we made that decision together, and even though you weren’t home, our marriage? It mattered, and I didn’t want to remove it. The same reason I never divorced you.”

“Your room keys?” the receptionist said, clearly bored with their conversation.

“I knew one day, my solicitor would request a meeting with me, and there’d be divorce papers waiting for me,” Robert said. “Every day when I woke up, I wondered if it'd be today. I wanted you to move on, because you being happy is what matters the most to me. It always has. But the fear of not knowing when I’d get that meeting?”

“If you’d have let me visit,” Aaron said, shaking his head.

“Okay,” Robert said. “That was a bad decision.”

“Yeah, it was,” Aaron agreed.

“We’re not there any more,” Robert said.

“No, we’re here.”

“Keys? While you’re in the middle of marriage counselling?” she said, holding them out.

“I’ve not seen him in five years,” Aaron said to her. “Have a heart.” She ignored them both and went to texting on her phone instead.

“Did you honestly think I’d ever find another man who could even come close to you?” Aaron asked.

“I never got what you saw in me,” Robert said, feeling far too emotional for a hotel lobby.

“A good shag,” Aaron teased and Robert laughed. “I loved you. I still do.”  Robert looked at Aaron, feeling his heart stop. Aaron hadn’t told him that. Not in the present tense. “I do, I love you. It scares me sometimes, but…” Robert kissed him softly.

“We need a room,” Robert said.

“Finally,” the woman behind the desk said. “Room 203, please do not call room service, we haven’t got the time.”

They ignored her.

* * *

Aaron had done well, booking the hotel room. It had a small balcony which looked over the town, and the lights sparkling in the distance in the dark looked very pretty. Robert made himself a cup of tea while Aaron was dozing, and he took it out to the balcony, thinking to himself. He wasn’t wearing anything, and it felt good to have the cool air against his skin. It felt like a freedom he hadn’t had in prison. To just be.

“You’re going to catch your death,” Aaron said, coming out to join him. Aaron had a dressing gown on, unlike Robert who was completely naked.

“No, I won’t,” he said.

“You’ve put a bit of weight on,” Aaron said, pinching Robert’s stomach gently. “Here.” He said it so warmly that there was no way Robert could take that offensively. “I like it when I can’t feel your ribs.”

“I feel like I’m getting back to normal,” Robert said. “In some ways.”

“It’s still good between us, isn’t it?” 

Robert knew Aaron meant in bed. He pulled Aaron into his arms and hugged him. “Better than good. Mind blowing.” Aaron grinned, kissing Robert’s shoulder before pulling back. He nicked Robert’s mug of tea and took a swig. “You clearly don’t have any inhibitions,” Aaron said, looking Robert up and down. “Anyone could look up.”

“The only one I care about getting an eyeful is right next to me.” Aaron smiled at him. “I’ve booked an appointment with a therapist. To help me after prison.”

“Good,” Aaron said. “Is that why you’re awake? You can’t sleep?”

“No,” Robert said. “Usually I’m okay after sex, I can drift off, I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“You, me,” Robert said. “Seb. Life”

“Mum text by the way, he’s fine. Went to sleep okay.”

“Good. You know…” Robert started.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I know.”

* * *

“God, you’re like your dad,” Chas said giving Seb the third round of toast for breakfast.

“Which one?” Seb asked.

“Both of them,” Chas said. Aaron’s personality, Robert’s looks. Though his smirk was 100% Robert too.

“Did you know my dad before me?” Seb asked. “Rob.”

“Yes,” Chas said. “Why?”

“I know a secret,” Seb said, whispering to her. “Wanna hear it?”

“Oh yes, I do,” Chas said.

“I think Da and my dad are together!” Seb said.

“How do you know that?” Chas asked.

“Dad comes over to cook tea most nights,” Seb said. “He’s there when I wake up too. Da’s happier.”

“Yeah?” Chas asked. “I think Da’s happier too.”

Both men came in together and Chas and Seb shared a secret grin.

“What?” Aaron asked blankly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is coming to an end now, only a few more chapters (plus an epilogue) to go! I didn't know how to end this chapter, but I thought this was better than leaving you on a cliffhanger! That's coming next!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been planning this chapter for a while, but now I've got here, I'm not sure it's how I wanted!! Hope you enjoy this chapter anyway!

Robert saw it before Aaron did. They’d only just picked up Seb from the pub after their night away, and walking to the Mill, Robert saw it. A police car with blue flashing lights parked outside the Mill. “Aaron, take Seb back to your mums.”

“What are you on about?” Aaron asked. “We’ve only just picked him up!”

“Just do it,” Robert said darkly. He caught the tone, then saw the police car.

“Oh, God,” Aaron said. “No, not now! What have you done?”

“Nothing,” Robert said honestly.

“Da?” Seb asked Aaron nervously.

“It’s all right,” Aaron said, holding his hand tightly.

“Robert Sugden?” One of the officers asked. It didn’t sound like a casual chat.

“Not in front of my son,” Robert said firmly. The two officers looked at each other and nodded.

“Aaron, take Seb in.”

“No chance,” Aaron said. 

Robert crouched down to Seb’s level. “I’ve just got to sort something out,” he told Seb. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Promise?” Seb asked.

Robert hesitated, because he had no idea why the police wanted him, but he couldn’t say no to that face. They probably wouldn’t keep him in longer than twenty four hours anyway, whatever it was. “Yes, I promise. Your da will let me tuck you in tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Seb said.

“Go inside now, okay?” Seb hugged him and Robert ruffled his hair. Aaron unlocked the door to the Mill.

“I’ll be in in a minute,” Aaron said, closing the door behind him. “What the hell do you want?” Aaron asked the officers.

“We need to talk to Robert,” he said.

“Are you arresting me?” Robert asked.

“Why would we do that?” That was a leading question if ever Robert had heard one.

“Look, I’ve got no idea why you want to talk to me,” Robert said. “I’ve not done anything I shouldn’t since being released from prison. I’ve been working, and spending time with my family. Is it just easy, going straight for the ex con?”

“If you don’t come with us willingly…”

“You’ll arrest me?” Robert said. “For what?”

“Murder.” Aaron and Robert looked at each other.

“I really have no idea what you’re talking about,” Robert said. “I’m calling my solicitor.”

“You can do that when you’re down the station.”

“Do I have a choice?” Robert asked.

“No.” 

Robert looked at Aaron, feeling the devastation overwhelm them both. “I’ll be back,” Robert promised. “I’ve not done anything illegal.”

“Why am I not reassured?” Aaron asked. Robert kissed his cheek briefly.

“Robert Sugden, I’m arresting you on suspicion of…” Robert zoned out as his hands were cuffed behind his back and the panic started to completely overwhelm him. He could not be here again, he couldn't be.

“I’ll get your lawyer!” Aaron called. He watched as Robert was driven away.

* * *

With a sense of urgency, Aaron went into the house, desperate. “Have they taken dad away again?” He looked and saw Seb close to tears. Aaron grabbed his phone and sat on the sofa with Seb, thinking the lawyer could maybe wait two or three minutes to calm Seb down.

“It’s just for a day,” Aaron said, trying to inject confidence into his voice. “Robert, he will be back.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said. “I’m going to make a phone call, to get someone who can help us, okay?”

“Uhuh,” Seb said, snuggling into Aaron.

“Robert promised you he’d tuck you in bed tomorrow,” Aaron said. “He’ll be here.” Aaron kissed Seb’s head as he started dialling.

* * *

Robert hadn’t been taken to an interview room, he’d been taken to a holding cell. He felt glad to have his handcuffs off, that was an experience he really didn’t want to repeat. This was all too familiar. He’d got away with a lot of grey things in his life, and some downright illegal, but he had no idea why he’d be arrested for murder. It didn’t make any sense. This was bad, really bad. He could never get out again. The fear was unbelievable. He didn’t know how long he’d been sat here. An hour? Two?

The door opened and his solicitor walked in. “John,” Robert said with relief. “What is going on?!”

“What have you been up to?” John said, like he despaired. “Lee Posner’s been found dead.”

Robert let that sink in for a moment. “Oh. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.”

“Robert, this is serious.”

“I haven’t been anywhere near him, John. I don’t even know where he lives. Lived, I guess,” Robert said. “I’m not about to feel bad about my sisters rapist turning up dead.”

“They’ve got CCTV footage of you walking away from the crime scene.”

Robert froze. “Where?” he asked. “When? They can’t, I wasn’t there.”

“Carlisle,” he said. “Last night. They’ve only moved so quickly because they’ve found CCTV evidence. Plus you’re already on their radar.”

“I wasn’t in Carlisle,” Robert said. “I was booked into a hotel last night with Aaron. In Hotten.” John looked at Robert in surprise. “You thought I did it?”

“The video evidence… it does look like you,” John said. “I’ve seen it.”

“It wasn’t,” Robert said. “I was working yesterday afternoon in Hotten, meeting a client. Bainbridge. Then I went and bought a new shirt for my date, then I met Aaron in a bar. We left and had a really good curry. At the… God, I forget the name. There’s only one Indian in Hotten. They’ll have CCTV. We went to the George Albert hotel and checked in. The receptionist will remember us. We went into the hotel room and we didn’t leave until… eight this morning to pick up Seb? It wasn’t me, John.”

“Aaron’s testimony probably wouldn’t be enough,” John said. “The world knows he’d lie for you. But the hotel? I’ll get to work on your alibi.”

“Are they going to interview me?”

“Yes,” John said. “They’re trying to build a stronger case. So… sit tight.”

“You have to get me out of here,” Robert said desperately. “I can’t do this.”

“We’ll sort it,” John said, patting him on the shoulder.

* * *

Aaron felt like he was near breaking point. Seeing Robert being bundled into a police car, again, God, he couldn’t cope with it. Moira had Seb, who was playing with Isaac, which left Aaron plenty of time to panic about what this meant. Murder? Who was he meant to have killed? This was crazy. He called Robert’s solicitor but it went straight through to answerphone. He couldn’t take this, he was going to the police station. Waiting there or waiting at home? It was all the same waiting, and at least at the station he was closer to Robert.

* * *

“Mr Sugden, is this you?” The officer interviewing him played the clip of CCTV and Robert did privately admit it looked a lot like him. Tall, blonde, mid thirties. Something about the way he walked. It wasn’t a wild leap to make.

“No,” Robert said. “It’s not me. When am I supposed to have done this?”

“Where were you last night?”

“I was checking in to the George Albert hotel in Hotten,” Robert said. “With my husband. Whoever you’re after, it’s not me.”

“That is you in the CCTV,” the officer said firmly. “We know you don’t like Lee Posner.”

“It can’t be me,” Robert said. “I’ve not been anywhere near him. I’ve been busy trying to get my son and husband back in my life, which isn’t helped when you turn up to arrest me.” Robert shook his head. “Check out my alibi. I’m sure there’s a noise complaint from the room next door to us.”

“That’s not helpful,” one officer said.

“Lee Posner is a rapist,” Robert said. “He raped my sister and he told me years ago that there was something about the thrill of a woman who said no. Do you really think I’m the only relative he’s pissed off?”

“You could have left the hotel when your husband was sleeping,” one of the officers said and Robert froze. 

“My car never left the car park at the top of Hotten road,” Robert said, thinking quickly. “How am I supposed to get there?” Instead of being released, Robert was taken back to a holding cell while they checked out his alibi.

* * *

Aaron couldn't stop tapping his foot, leg bouncing up and down. If they took Robert away from him again, he wouldn’t cope. It would completely destroy him. He’d been kind of holding Robert at arms length, scared of getting in too deep. Wanting to be able to run if he needed to. How stupid was that? With Robert, there was no half measures. He loved him completely, and he couldn’t do it only part way. Why was he realising that now? Did fate always get in the way between him and Robert? It felt like that way sometimes.

“Come on,” Aaron muttered. He needed to see Robert. John had told him that Lee Posner had been found dead, and it didn’t surprise Aaron that Robert was their prime suspect. But surely sooner or later they’d realise they’d got it wrong. They had to. It didn’t even occur to Aaron that Robert might have done it. He wouldn’t risk it, not again. Lee tore them apart once, it wouldn’t happen again. Robert was hot headed, he wasn’t an idiot.

“John,” Aaron said as he saw him come out from the interview rooms. “Robert?”

“He’s going to be okay,” John said. “His alibi’s good, the police have got a case of mistaken identity. It wasn’t him.”

“I know it’s not him,” Aaron said. “So when are they letting him out?”

“They’re checking the CCTV evidence, then it should be a formality. I’ve got another client, ring me if there’s a problem.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said dully. And then he waited.

* * *

Robert had got to the point that he’d started to believe this was really bad. Maybe they weren’t going to let him go. Maybe they just wanted to pin it on him because it was really easy. Aaron. God, it’d kill them. He couldn’t do this to him, twice. It wasn’t fair. The door unlocked.

“Mr Sugden, you’re free to go.”

“What?” Robert asked, shocked.

“Your alibi checks out,” the on duty officer said, smiling at him. “You might want to wear underwear on hotel balconies in future.” It took a second for that to sink in, and then he shook his head. He’d been seen, then. He guessed under the circumstances, he couldn’t exactly complain.

“That’s it?” Robert asked.

“About twenty people saw you in Hotten, right when the crime was committed,” she said. “Your husbands waiting at reception.”

“Thanks,” Robert said. She seemed nice enough and it wasn’t her fault.

“Rob?” Aaron said quietly, voice shaking a little. Robert ignored getting his possessions back from the desk and threw himself into Aaron’s arms, clutching him as tightly as he could.


	15. Chapter 15

It took quite some time for Robert to let go of him. He’d thought this was so bad, that freedom was going to be taken away from him again Burying his face in Aaron’s neck, breathing in his scent, and feeling his hands holding him so tightly, he needed it after one of the worst days of his life.

“Mr Sugden?” The police officer gently prompted him, and he nodded, being quickly processed out, and getting his possessions back. By the time he’d finished, Aaron was holding the car keys and itching to go, and Robert didn’t blame him. They didn’t speak until they were sat in the car.

“I thought…”

“Yeah,” Robert agreed fervently. “I thought too.”

“What happened?” Aaron asked. “I got a rough idea from your solicitor, but…”

“Lee’s been found dead. They’ve got someone leaving the crime scene who looks a bit like me,” Robert said. “You’d be able to tell it’s not me, but there’s a resemblance there.”

“Oh,” Aaron said.

“I didn’t do it,” Robert said, suddenly fearing that Aaron thought he had. “I swear. I was with you. I wouldn’t...”

“Hey, I know,” Aaron said softly. “I didn’t even think it. If you had killed him, I wouldn’t care either.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Robert asked.

“Not about the murder I wouldn’t,” Aaron said. “About our future being risked? That… that would hurt, after everything.”

“I didn’t touch him, Aaron,” Robert said, Aaron nodding.

“I know,” he said. “You don’t have to convince me.” He pulled Robert into a hug across the seats in the car, Robert nodding against his chest.

“Where’s Seb?” Robert asked.

“With Moira, playing with Isaac,” Aaron said. “I needed someone to look after him, I was going out of my mind.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Are you driving?” Aaron took that as an indication to go home. They didn’t speak much in the car, Robert occasionally touching Aaron’s thigh, and Aaron brushing his hand across Robert’s, the touch to reconnect them. “Pull over.” Robert’s voice was soft, but Aaron knew. They were approaching their layby and Aaron drew the car to a stop. 

“What is it?” Aaron asked.

“You said… our future,” Robert said. “We’ve got a future?”

“Yes,” Aaron said. “I am still scared, Robert. But with you… I can’t do anything casual. It’s never casual with you. We went slow once before and we were engaged in five months.”

“Yeah,” Robert said warmly. “I remember.”

“I love you so much,” Aaron said. “Come home.”

“We’re going home.”

“No, I mean… come to the Mill. I don’t want you to leave.” Robert looked at him steadily and realised he was serious. “When I thought I could lose you, I realised how stupid it is, to waste time like that.”

“I can’t,” Robert said, and Aaron visibly stiffened and Robert could see the walls going up.. “No, no!” Robert snapped. “I want to, and if it was just me and you, I’d say yes. I’d lock the door behind us and never leave. But we have got to talk Seb through it, and make sure he’s okay. I’m not going to force a change on him before he’s ready. He’s getting to know me again.”

“I’d almost forgotten about Seb,” Aaron said guiltily. “All I could think about was you.” Robert kissed him. “We’ll talk to him.”

“Yes,” Robert said. “Together.”

* * *

Moira had been fixing a fence outside the hay barn, telling them that the boys were playing hide and seek inside. Aaron stayed with Moira chatting, letting Robert pick up Seb. Robert went inside the barn and found Isaac. Robert put his finger to his lips in a “sh” gesture and Isaac grinned. He knew Robert by sight and he pointed to the left hand side and Robert nodded, trying to find Seb behind the hay bales. He did, Seb’s mouth going into a perfect “O” of surprise, face shocked before he threw himself into Robert’s arms “Dad!”

“Oof!” Robert gasped, the weight of Seb in his arms a shock. “Hey, I promised I’d be back,” Robert said, kissing the top of his head. “I’ll always come back.”

“Are you back for good?” Seb asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said, smiling at him. “It was all a misunderstanding with the police, I’m here to stay.” Seb buried his head in Robert’s shirt in a way that reminded him of Aaron.

Robert ended up carrying Seb to the car, Aaron smiling at them both. They were going home.

* * *

Seb was bright and bubbly when they got back to the Mill and it took ages for him to calm down enough to get a conversation with him going.

“We want to talk to you, mate,” Aaron said.

“No, you’re not in trouble,” Robert added at Sebs look, sitting on the sofa.

“Okay.”

“Me and your da,” Robert started. “We’ve been spending time trying to sort things out between us.”

“Yeah,” Seb said. “I kinda guessed that.” Both men looked at each other. “You wake up here a lot.”

“Well…” Robert said. “Yeah.”

“Things between grown ups can be complicated sometimes,” Aaron said. Seb huffed. “They can, but we’re talking to you because we both want you to be happy.”

“We’re back together,” Robert said.

“Oh. Like boyfriends?” Seb asked.

“Yeah,” Aaron said, deciding that going into their weddings probably wasn’t wise right now.

“Is that okay with you?” Robert asked.

“I guessed,” Seb said. “Dad’s cooking a lot, and he’s here all the time. And you’re all mushy,” he said to Aaron, which made him flush red and Robert laugh.

“How about… if I move in?” Robert suggested.

“You’d be here all the time?” Seb asked.

“Only if it’s okay with you,” Robert said. “If it’s too quick, and you like living with just your da, that’s fine.”

"It really is," Aaron said.

“No, I want you here!” Seb said eagerly. “For good?” 

“You want that?”

“Yes!” Seb squealed. Both of them smiled at him, a little surprised, but very pleased and they made a three person hug in a tangled mess of limbs on the sofa.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter! There will be an epilogue too, but I was running out of things to say, and that's usually a sign when it's time to wrap stuff up! Thank you so much for sticking with this in these troubling times. Ryan? Come home, thanks!

“I didn’t think he’d take it so well,” Robert admitted, sitting on the end of the bed.

“I wasn’t sure,” Aaron said. “He likes you. You always get everyone to come around in the end.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Robert said. “How about you? Have you come around?” Almost nervously. Robert moving back in had come completely out of the blue.

“I want you here all the time,” Aaron said surely. “I meant it. You scared the shit out of me.”

“Yeah, being falsely arrested wasn’t my idea of a good time either.” Aaron squeezed his shoulder in passing, before stripping his shirt and jeans off and almost falling into bed, on top of the duvet with his eyes closed. Robert looked at the scars on his chest. He’d seen him naked since coming home, but he hadn’t really looked at his self harm scars. Not while engaging his brain anyway.

Aaron opened his eyes, seeing Robert watching him, but he didn’t cover up. “There’s no new ones,” Aaron said.

“No?” Not that Robert wanted to argue, but he touched a scar on the right side of Aaron’s chest. “I don’t remember that.” Aaron grabbed his wrist, but not to move him away, just to touch him.

“That was an accident at the yard,” Aaron said. “Not on purpose. I had a piece of steel in my hands and it slipped. You remember me that well?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. He also noticed that a few of the scars he’d kissed along had vanished completely. Time had healed them. “Of course I do. I’d bet you remember my freckles.”

“You’re less freckly than you used to be,” Aaron said. “You need a good dose of sunshine.”

“See?” Robert said. Aaron reached up and tugged at Robert’s shirt as a hint. Robert smiled and undressed, both of them getting under the duvet. “This does feel a little strange.”

“Does it?” Aaron asked, throwing his leg over Robert’s to pull them close together. “How?”

“Because it feels so normal,” Robert said. “Like I’d never been away.”

“Do you want to talk about prison?” Aaron asked.

“No,” Robert said. “I know I can with you, and I trust you, but that’s not a happy time. Right now, I’m happy.”

“We’re not having sex tonight,” Aaron said as Robert’s hands started wandering. He stopped feeling Aaron up. “Seb’s going to come in a few times.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “He’ll want to check you’re still here.”

“Really?” Robert said far too brightly.

“You love him, don’t you?”

“I always did,” Robert said. Aaron kissed him gently and they slept, not entirely deeply. It felt good to be wrapped in each others arms. Robert woke up first and saw Seb in his pajamas, peering around the door frame.

“Come on,” Robert said. Seb grinned and jumped up onto the bed, Robert cuddling him. Aaron’s hand drifted from Robert to Seb’s hair.

“Morning mate,” Aaron said, rolling over.

“He’s still here,” Seb said, looking at Robert.

“Yeah, he is,” Aaron agreed. “Is that okay?”

“It's good,” Seb agreed, eyes bright.

* * *

Aaron was working from home, getting some of the paperwork for the yard done. There was a knock on the door and he smiled as Chas poked her head in. “Can I?”

“Yeah, come in,” Aaron said. He gave his mum a hug, smiling at her.

“Seb enthusiastically told me his dad was sleeping over,” Chas said, making Aaron smile.

“I think we’ve sorted things,” Aaron agreed. “Or… well, we’ve gone public, I guess. He’s moving back in here.”

“I’m so happy for you,” Chas said.

“Yeah?” Aaron asked.

“You’ve never stopped missing him.”

“No,” Aaron said. “I guess I haven’t.”

“As long as he treats you right,” Chas said.

“Thanks mum.”

* * *

Aaron walked into the bedroom with just a towel around his waist, dripping from the shower. Robert looked at him, enjoying the show, when he noticed something. He’d seen it before, obviously, but now they were together and stable, it felt right to mention it.

“Your wedding ring,” Robert said. Aaron looked at his own bare hand. “I understand why you’re not wearing it. Where is it?”

“It’s safe,” Aaron said. “It never felt right wearing it when you were gone.”

“I’m not gone now,” Robert said.

“Are we married?” Aaron asked.

“Legally yes,” Robert said.

“I wasn’t talking about legally,” Aaron said. “You don’t feel like my husband, not yet. I’m not saying this to hurt you, I’m saying how I feel.”

“I know,” Robert said. He pulled Aaron onto the bed and held his ringless hand. “I’m not pressuring you to wear it, I just want to know where it is.”

“It’s in the safe at the scrapyard,” Aaron said. “I didn’t want it in the house, because when it was here I spent far too long looking at it, and touching it, and it just hurt me to remember it. So I locked it away.”

“I want it in the house,” Robert said firmly. “I don’t want it up at the yard, someone could break in.”

“They wouldn’t,” Aaron said. “You’ve not been up to the yard since you’ve been home have you?”

“No, why?” Robert asked. “A lot of memories. I haven’t been ready to face it, I’ve been more focused on you and us. Why?”

“The cabin, it’s changed,” Aaron said. “I replaced it.”

“Why?”

“I burnt the original one down,” Aaron said, making Robert stare at him. “Why do you think Nicola moved the Haulage office down to Take a Vow?”

“I… don’t know,” Robert said. “She wanted to be closer to the village? I hadn’t thought…”

“She didn’t like the paperwork being destroyed,” Aaron said. “I fell apart when you were sent down, Robert. I wasn’t thinking when I set light to it.”

“Why?” Robert asked.

“Same reason as you,” Aaron said quietly. “Memories. Anyway, the ring is in the safe. I check on it quite a bit.”

“One day I want you wearing it again,” Robert said.

“One day I want to wear it again,” Aaron said, kissing Robert briefly. “Maybe on our next wedding?”

“Yeah?” Robert said, grinning.

“Give Seb an excuse to look all smart in a suit,” Aaron said. "He'd make a good page boy."

“He’d look amazing,” Robert said, smiling.

“I love you,” Aaron said. Robert nodded.

“I love you more.”


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

“There we go,” Robert said, smoothing Seb’s jacket down. “You look perfect.”

“Really?” Seb asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Now, I’ve got something special for you to look after.”

“The rings?”

“Yep,” Robert said. He got the box, opened it to show Seb both rings inside and Seb put it in his pocket. “Take good care of them.”

“You’ll take them back at the ceremony?” Seb asked.

“Yes.” Robert had taken his own ring off just before his shower that morning. Feeling the bare skin on his left hand hadn’t been comfortable and he didn’t like it one bit.

“Where’s Da?”

“He’s getting his suit on, then he’ll be ready. Church wedding this time.”

“Where were your other weddings?”

“We had one in nanas pub,” Robert told him. “Then another in the village outside. You’ve seen the pictures. Anyway, this one doesn’t have to be legal because we’re still technically married, so we’re having a church wedding apparently. Da wanted it.” They both had decided on it, but Aaron had quite liked the idea.

Aaron came down the stairs of the Mill, looking so gorgeous that Robert’s breath caught. Wow. He still looked so good, better than their other weddings, if that was even possible. “Ready?” Aaron asked.

“Are you sure about this?” Robert said, only half joking.

“I want the ring back on,” Aaron said. “I want us to be a proper family, and we need this.”

“Yes,” Robert said. “We do. Shall we Mr Sugden-Dingle?”

“Mm,” Aaron said, grinning. "You look... amazing."

* * *

Aaron hadn’t expected it to feel different when they exchanged their vows. They’d done this enough by now to be familiar with it, this one wasn’t legal, it didn’t matter, not really. But he did feel different. When Robert pushed the ring back on Aaron’s finger, he felt more complete, more right. He’d not worn it since Robert was released, at first it hadn’t felt quite right, and then afterwards he’d wanted to save it for their vow renewal. 

“We’ve been here a few times,” Aaron said. They’d decided to write their own vows this time. “And after everything, no matter where we are or what’s happening between us, it’s always been you. It’s always going to be you. Life is not going to be easy with you, but it never is. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Aaron slid the ring on and Robert smiled. 

“You’ve given me more chances than I ever deserved. But in spite of it all, I still love you. I’ve loved you for so long I don’t know what life looks like not loving you. It’s been hard, but hopefully this is a brand new start.” Robert put the ring on and Aaron couldn’t help grinning. Robert handed the empty ring box to Seb who tucked it in his pocket happily.

“Robert and Aaron, you have reconfirmed your vows and love for each other,” the registrar said. “I’m delighted to pronounce you married, again.” Aaron pulled Robert in for the traditional kiss, even though it lasted a bit longer than it strictly should have.

“I love you,” Aaron said.

“I love you,” Robert said. They were interrupted by Seb gripping Aaron’s leg, smiling up at both of them.

* * *

“Is this the last one or do we get to do it again?” Seb asked when they were back in the pub, having gone through to the back room. Seb was a lot bigger since the last time they’d done this. Funny how quickly time seems to pass sometimes.

“No, it's our last wedding,” Aaron said, amused. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“What about?” Seb asked.

“I know life was a bit tough when Robert came back,” Aaron said. “You felt a bit unsure, and it was just… hard.”

“Yeah,” Seb said.

“Neither of us are leaving you ever again,” Aaron said. “I wanted to tell you that. You’re stuck with both of us. Whatever happens between me and Rob? You’re safe and you’ll always have both of us.”

“Even when I’m old?” Seb asked.

“Especially then,” Aaron said, kissing the top of Seb’s head and knowing his days were numbered that Seb would let him get away with that. “Where’s your dad?”

“Dancing,” Seb said. “He says he’s dancing with nanny Faith, looks more like wriggling to me.”

Aaron laughed. “I tell you what, I might even dance with your dad today.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s a special day, isn’t it? Come on.”

Not only did Aaron dance with Robert, drink, dance with Robert and Seb who couldn’t bear to be left out, he had one of the best days of his life. It felt so good and happy to have everything put right again.

Robert may have mentioned having another baby right before they fell asleep, but Aaron was too drunk to follow that. He’d ask about that one tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this to the end! This turned a lot longer than I anticipated and I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
